i got an apple pie candle. i highly recommend them. so when you’re all full on frozen pizzas, you can light an apple pie candle instead of cramming yourself fuller with strawberry ice cream. just light up a pie candle and inhale the calories.

it doesn’t work if you’re actually hungry though, cuz then you’ll actually want to eat apple pie.

but anyway, that’s my new diet craze. inhale your food. literally.

can’t you see it now?

steak candles… mmmmm…….