I was a week early and completely unprepared with Olivia.
Yet I can’t help but wonder if God has given me this extra time before Baby Boy so I could learn/realize/prepare something I haven’t yet figured out.
It’s beginning to feel surreal. I was prepared for labor last Wednesday, but the anxiety I felt while approaching that due date has only decreased each day that has passed since. I don’t spend much time imagining him in my arms anymore. I don’t contemplate the 2 a.m. feedings anymore. I quit rehearsing in my head how nap schedules will work with two children. I stopped planning the difference between changing boy diapers and changing girl diapers. Not to mention all the imaginary labor pains I interpreted every ache and twinge to be. The more I think on such things, the slower the time passes. I think this belly might just be permanent.
This is not pre-post-partum depression. I DO long for my baby boy to be in my arms. I just can’t figure out why he’s not here yet. What am I missing, God? Why am I not ready yet?
Maybe God just wants you to have a little extra time with Olivia and Josh before things change. Obviously only He knows why the baby is late, but i’m sure there’s some purpose. Maybe the Dr’s messed up your due date a little bit and he’s just not quite ready to breath on his own or something. I’m sure it’s frustrating, not to mention uncomfortable. Maybe if you spend some time either looking back at pictures of Olivia when she was little, or staring at all the little baby boy clothes maybe it will help you imagine him in your arms again. Either way i know that when he comes it will be the perfect time and everything will be all ready at home and at the hospital. 🙂 i have another option… maybe the baby’s just Lazy and God can’t convince him to get out 🙂