May 11, 2007

Dear [Community Manager],

I appreciate the time you took to research those quotes from my lease. However, I must say that though I honestly do not want to be seen as difficult, I do not see how the points you laid out in your last letter apply to me.

Your first point, from The Good Neighbor Commitment, stated that I am not allowed to use my balcony for storage. Hanging laundry out to dry for a few hours hardly constitutes storage. I hope that if this truly is your concern, you have also addressed fellow residents that are keeping bikes and grills on their balcony. [Surely propane tanks are more hazardous than laundry.]*

Your second point, from my lease, informed me that I am to keep my balcony in a “clean and sanitary condition.” I assure you; I am. I sweep the floorboards when bird seed accumulates from the birdfeeder on the balcony above mine. I do not let unused items sit on my balcony for long periods of time. I have even been known to Windex the sliding glass door from time to time. If you are concerned that the laundry I hang out to dry is not clean or sanitary, allow me to put your mind at ease – it is.

As for the laundry room in my apartment building, I did not mean to suggest I was unhappy with its location. It is conveniently close and I am grateful that you provide it. I thank you for addressing the unsatisfactory nature of the dryer and the cleanliness of the room so quickly and, in the future, I will notify you of such requests more promptly. Your swift attention to my needs is what makes this apartment so enjoyable for my family.

Thank you for your reconsideration.

Sincerely,

[The Mommy]

* I so badly wanted to replace that sentence with this:

[On the matter of grills, I am sure you are familiar with the Indiana law that protects apartment residents from the dangers of propane tanks. It states that all propane tanks must be stored ten feet from the apartment complex. Surely you are addressing that matter separately, so I will get back to the topic at hand.]

But I was strong and I resisted. I need to withhold something for a Plan C, after all.