A picture of the Dugger family after their 17th child was born. The mother was quoted saying, “We’d love to have more” just thirty minutes after delivering little Jennifer Danielle.
A billboard in China which translates into, “Have less children, have a better life.” China’s family planning commission is trying to tone down their reminders of the national One Child Policy. “One more baby means one more tomb” has been replaced with “The mother earth is too tired to sustain more children.”
Is it possible that these two philosophies can coexist on the same planet? Will America will become as overpopulated as China if we continue having 17 children per family? Or will the career-driven childless couples balance out the Duggers and keep our average low enough? Will God provide for the Christian families that trust Him with their fertility? What if they happen to live in China?
I would love a large family. But the number 17 scares me. Seventeen pregnancies at nine months each. Seventeen labors. Seventeen deliveries. Seventeen children wearing diapers for two years each (or more). Seventeen children in my house at one time. That’s larger than some classrooms! But the blessings! God’s providence! The testimony that family has!
Is it truly a better life when you have less children? Should we try and control our own fertility?
Maybe, just maybe, God knows how many children I can handle. Maybe, just maybe, I should trust him. But, oh, that is one huge leap of faith.
Paul and I were talking the other day, and he said that 10% of counties in the United States did not have a majority of white people. I was actually a little surprised it was that low, but it led to a discussion about where the white people are going, since it seems to be that the minorities are rapidly overtaking. He said, “It’s not that the white people are going somewhere; it’s that they are not reproducing as much.” I thought that was an interesting perspective.
It’s obvious these are complete different cultures.
Yes, this variety excists on this earth, and that’s so interesting.
It’s also a challenge. To respect all.
As long as we all can provide food, health and safety for all these children, as we all can teach them respect for the earth…
i love large families too..i came from a large one, by a degree..we’re seven in the family…we are all okay and happy [i guess]..everyone was sent to school [thanks to mama and papa]..although I’m sure budget was pretty tight while i was growing up..but everyone’s having their own career now…
Me on the one hand, having one kid of my own, I’m thinking of adding one more and then one more…but all in GOD’s time..the 17 scares me too..i don’t think i can manage with that..
but actually there’s a downside on limiting the kids in the family too..like what happened in China [and other countries as well]… now, they’re short of manpower..and they’re “importing” the workforce from other countries.
Zamejias,
I had not heard that about China; they are importing workers? I thought they were over-populated! Is it because of a lack of an educated workforce?
And I agree; 17 scares me too. But to say God doesn’t know best for my family? I’m still working this one out.
I don’t think that just because one practices birth control means they are saying God doesn’t know best. I know that a lot of people disagree with me, and I totally respect their decision and their right to have a large family. But I think sometimes God gives us the means and knowledge to “control” things. Like, taking medicine to cure a disease. Is that saying that God doesn’t know best – that we should just trust Him to miraculously heal us? Is taking medicine a way of messing up the plans God has for us? I personally don’t think so.
I do believe that God can convict individuals in certain areas. If He is convicting you to not use birth control and let Him naturally determine the number of children you have, then you need to live by that conviction. If you don’t then you are not honoring God – even if the thing He’s convicting you of is not a sin within itself.
That being said, if He is convicting you to follow the “quiverfull” mindset then I hope you are doing that. 🙂 But don’t feel guilty if you don’t think He is leading you in that direction! The number of children you have does not determine how much of a Christian you are. The most important thing is to be open to God’s leading and direction.
Ashley –
I’m glad you joined in! I was waiting to hear your philosophy.
That thought had crossed my mind as well – about using medical intervention in other circumstances and not considering it a weakness in my faith.
But in other circumstances, we are trying to heal our broken bodies. In this case, we are, in effect, controlling who will and will not exist on this earth. But then again, God can (and will) impregnate whomever He sees fit – even if they’re on the pill! Even if the best fertility doctors have told them there is no hope.
So should it even matter if we try to control our family size? Wouldn’t God give us the right amount of children no matter our beliefs and methods of birth control?
And then there’s the fact that children are called gifts from God. Do we limit these? Choose how many we want for ourselves? Maybe God respects (somewhat) our desire for a small family, but if we have open minds and open hearts and let Him take charge, the gifts we receive will be infinitely more than worth it.
What do you think?
I think the thing is that we’re living in an imperfect world, and we have dying bodies. We take medicine to make sick people better, because we have to due to the breakdown of our bodies. This is probably true for children too. Not saying children are “diseases”, but that childbearing can take a toll on bodies. I think some women could handle 17 children, but not everyone. I also think that God doesn’t require “as many children as possible” from all women.
Now… about healthy women controlling the amount of children they have… God tells us to “be fruitful and multiply”, but He doesn’t specify an exact number. I think that He does call some people to have large families, just like He calls some people to be single. I don’t think every person is cut out to have 17 children! God can use childless couples and small families to an amazing extent in ways He can’t use big families (and vice versa). Can you imagine traipsing around the world as a missionary with 17 kids? (You’d have to charter the plane!) Can you imagine floating down the Amazon River in a dugout canoe looking for people groups with 17 kids in tow, and being pregnant on top of it all? Or worse, waiting until all the kids are gone – when you’re like 80 – and doing it then? I think about the mission field where I grew up, and imagine what it would have been like had every missionary been a single person or childless couple because all those families had to stay in their home country!
God gives us different convictions so we can be salt & light to all parts of the world. I don’t think there is ONE Biblical way. I do stand by my “if God gives you a conviction then you need to follow that” idea.
As for “controlling who exists”: In His infinite knowledge, God already knows how many kids we’re going to have and He already knows everything about them! He knows how many grandkids we’ll have, and great-grandkids, etc. So it’s not like He created a bunch of souls at the beginning of time and is waiting around for bodies to stick them in. He has created exactly enough souls (personalities, etc.) for the number of babies that are conceived. So it’s not like if I have 3 kids instead of 4 that there’s some poor soul floating wishing it had a body.
Those are just my thoughts – and Paul’s.