I posted awhile back about the expensive costs I’m being hit with concerning childcare during Bible studies. You all gave wonderful advice and suggestions concerning whether it is right to offer baked goods or services instead of cash.
I spoke with the director of women’s ministries yesterday.
I explained to her our financial situation. I told her I understood she did not want lack of funds to prohibit my attendance. However, I want to make a contribution. I may not have cash, but I have other services that I can offer.
She told me she would think about it and get back to me.
Today after Bible Study, we discussed the matter further. She told me that she was not allowed to use homemade goods to give the children for snacks. They had to be purchased.
Let’s just pause and realize what kind of world we live in.
A church. Cannot. Accept. Homemade food. From a church member.
At first I rationalized this with the Allergy Theory. They just wanted to make sure the ingredients wouldn’t cause allergic reactions. But this theory was dismissed with the realization that I could quite simply supply them with a list of all ingredients used. And if they would supply me with a list of all allergies, I could avoid all hazardous ingredients.
So that leaves me with the Poison Theory. They cannot trust a member of their church body to give un-poisoned, healthful food to the children in the nursery.
What is your opinion on this? Have you considered this before? Would you rather your church NOT use homemade snacks in childcare? Would you rather it be store-bought so it could be deemed safer?
But I digress.
After telling me baked goods were out, she suggested that I stay after twice a month and help sanitize the nursery. I understand the need here. I am not against sanitizing. However, I have two children. Who will provide the childcare while I clean the nursery to pay for the childcare?! I suppose they could stay with me. But is it wise to stay 30 minutes past lunch time to clean the nursery? Will my toddler comply? Or will she simply un-sanitize everything in a horrible never-ending cycle? And Benjamin? I suppose I could bring the sling…
But that’s where we stand right now. I still have to address the leaders of our adult Bible Study about how to pay for childcare there.
Wow. If I were a mom and had a child at this Bible Study, I would want my child to have your homemade snack as opposed to a preservative-filled snack that lacks the special ingredient of love.
i am not opposed to homemade snacks, I would actually prefer it. Especially yours. YUM.
The church I came from always had homemade snacks. I can’t imagine a parent wanting to poison their own child…
I think it probably has something to do with an institution providing childcare for paying parents being considered “daycare”, and certain health codes need to be met, like all the food served needs to be prepared in an inspected, commercial kitchen.
My cousin runs a daycare out of her home, and I was once over there helping out in the kitchen on a weekend, and I was looking for somewhere to dry my hands… alas, no towels. Apparently daycares can’t have cloth towels/washcloths/etc because they harbor germs, so she just doesn’t keep any in her kitchen, & uses paper towels. So much for the environment.
I’m sure, despite the rules, everyone involved would prefer your homemade goodies.
Wow, Joanna – I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know!
Shoot, Joanna beat me. 😉
My opinion is that it’s the Lawsuit Theory. If a child becomes ill from eating a homemade cookie, then the parents could probably sue the church. It’s sad, but it’s the world we live in. And let’s face it, different people have different health standards. When we lived in Peru, we knew other people – Americans! – who did not properly clean their fruits and vegetables (you had to soak in iodine for at least 20 minutes) and drank water from the tap. My mom always warned us about eating that kind of food when we went to their houses. 🙂
Ashley – Iodine?! I had no idea iodine could be used for cleaning purposes. I thought its only purpose was to be turned purple by science teachers. 🙂
I am simply baffled that your church charges for childcare at all.
The Mom2Mom group (like MOPS) at our church uses volunteers to watch the children in the nursery. Each small group that meets mid-week makes its own decision about how to do childcare – ours keeps the young children in the room with the parents, because we deliberately want them to learn how to enjoy worship and fellowship together in a multigenerational setting.
One option might be for you to take turns with some of the other moms…maybe you could watch all the kids one week and the others could on alternating weeks?
On another topic, I read this today and wondered if you had seen it.
http://www.washingtontimes.com/article/20070904/METRO/109040030&SearchID=73292458105794
No idea why iodine, but that’s what we did. 🙂 Every bit of produce went through the process, except bananas because it’s possible to eat them without touching the inside with your hands. We would get a big bucket of water, pour iodine in it until it’s the color of weak tea, and then soak the produce for 20 minutes. Washing them alone wasn’t enough, because health standards in Peru are different than the States. 🙂 And drinking tap water was a no-no – you had to run all water through a pretty powerful filter. I think the fear of the water was getting cholera, among other things.
I agree with the lawsuit theory. It is a pitiful statement about our society.
I’d also like to add that I have been part of a couple’s Bible study in a home where we all pitched in for child care and we also paid for someone who was in a tight spot at that time. We were all glad to do it, too. We wanted this family to be involved. Although I am leaning more and more toward not sending the children away in another room so we can do spiritual stuff, like Bible study; there are also times when it can be wise. For example, if the content is not something you want to explain to young children.
Also, keep in mind the fact that you will not always be in this situation. One day you will be able to bless another young mother by pitching in for her. If you really want to go to the class, go and don’t worry about it. I just recently read 2Corinthians 9:6-15. This might help you understand why I feel the way I do about this. The generosity of others should lead us to be thankful to God. He will reward them for their kindness. He loves it when we give cheerfully!
If you still feel uncomfortable about the situation, could you clean the nursrey another time of the week? It would mean another trip to the church, but it might work out. Maybe you could go early on Sunday morning or evening when your husband can help and help keep the little ones happy. You might also be able to follow up on the suggestion of trading sitting with someone who attends another Bible study or weekly something.
I agree with Becky. Our previous church had volunteers, and when they weren’t available the church paid for the nursery workers, the parents didn’t have to pay. I was part of a Small group that had a lot of children and the church paid for child care for that too, we kept the young ones in the room with us to make it easier on the people keeping the children. It is very important to be able to be involved and I’m glad they are giving you other options than paying money. Is there a reason why the church doesn’t pay for the childcare themselves?
On the topic of keeping kids with you, I really like this theory. Babies and really small children can sometimes be a distraction (to me the parent) but once they start school I think they should be able to sit through service WITHOUT the aid of their gameboy. It’s important for children to see their parents worship, one church I went to kept all the kid in the sanctuary until after praise and worship, i really like this idea. The church didn’t have very many babies, so I had to keep Lexi with me and that really distracted me because she wouldn’t sit still.
Two thoughts here-
There are children with extreme allergies and while you may not include these ingredients can have a reaction because the food was prepared in a kitchen where those foods have been. Crazy I know, but I know children like this.
Second, maybe you could enlist your toddlers ‘help’, like pre wiping the toys with some wipes or something?
Becky and Jes, I wish we didn’t have to pay for childcare either. But I don’t think, Becky, that there are enough other moms who can’t afford child care who would be willing to miss out on Bible study. Everyone else appears to have a husband with a job.
I appreciate everyone opening up my eyes to the severe allergies there are in the world! Just because I prepare my muffins on the same counter where my husband had made a peanut butter sandwich – I could cause harm to another child?! Very scary. I understand now why they have to buy packaged food. Where did these severe allergies come from? Why does it seem they are popping up now all of a sudden?
Melinda and Becky – That is a good idea about teaching young children how to worship through letting them experience my worship in person. It seems, however, the consensus is that children are a distraction from worship. I think if I knew that my children were not bothering anyone, I would be more at ease. I am always uptight and worried about how others are perceiving my children, and therefore distracted from the glory of God. Sad, I know.
Mama2tlc – I like the idea of Olivia helping with the wipes! Another friend suggested that to me as well. That’s a good plan on so many levels! I think that is what I will do next Tuesday – we’ll see how it works. 🙂
I completely understand not wanting to be paid for by someone else. Lots of people don’t want to accept “charity” because they feel that they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and that accepting aid of any kind would be equivalent to taking advantage of the other person. But I think Melinda has a valid point – God has called us to provide for one another’s needs and allowing a brother or sister in Christ to help in this situation brings glory to God and is a blessing to you and to them. So many people in the States have more than enough money and ought to give more but need a personal, close to home sort of cause in order to realize that – or even just to know where their help is needed. I would strongly encourage you to accept the church’s offer – let them obey God by helping you, just like you’re going to help others once Josh is out of school.