Uh huh. That about sums it up.

*Sigh*

Preface: I love and adore my husband and his dreams and goals for our family.

However: Sometimes I get tired of the fact that he is still in school. He is very busy teaching, grading, planning, studying, writing, researching. Most weeks he’s at school six (if not seven) days out of the week. He goes in at 7:45 and comes home at 6:15. And on especially hard days, he continues to study after the children are in bed. And there is no overtime pay.

This would be the perfect opportunity for me to serve him. To try to make his life easier in any way I can. But for some reason, all I can focus on is that when the hubby works overtime like that, the wife has no choice but to do the same.

And did I mention Benjamin is teething?

And won’t be put down?

And whenever I do put him down and surround him with nice, soft, safe toys, he promptly crawls to the nearest table/chair/walker/piece of furniture, stands up, and falls over. And cries. Because he’s hurt. And frustrated that everyone else in the house can walk except him.

I can’t keep up with the laundry. In an attempt to cure The Rash, we’ve been experimenting with a different diapering technique for Olivia. We held off on ordering a full supply until we knew it would work. So, being stocked with only half a supply, I’ve been washing diapers every day. The weather has turned sour and my clothesline has come down for the year. Not having a dryer, I can only wash as much as our drying rack will hold. So dirty clothes get neglected. The piles grow large and the drawers grow bare.

I can’t find the end of the dishes. As soon as I walk into the kitchen to try, someone decides his teeth hurt and wakes up from his five-minute nap because he’d much rather cuddle with mommy. I should probably put him in the sling, but the prospect of having to bend over to load and unload the dishwasher with a 20 lb baby strapped to my chest is not one I like to entertain.

So between the Baby Who Won’t Sleep and the Husband Who’s Never Here, I can’t get anything done. I feel like a failure of a wife and a mommy. And that’s enough to burn one out.

And I keep staring ahead, squinting, trying to see the end of this tunnel; but the darkness is too heavy and is falling in around me.

Just in case you thought I had it altogether.

I feel as though I really should interject some blessings here. So you don’t think my life is horrible. Because it’s not. And because I need to realize that as much as you do.

1. My husband is willing to sacrifice his free time and his family time for the “greater good” (Hehe, little Harry Potter quote there) of our family.
2. My God provides all our needs, despite our small income. And I mean all. This morning I woke up shaky and nauseous from skipping dinner last night. I prayed to The Lord Who Hears The Prayers Of Mothers that the babies would continue to sleep until I was well enough to handle them. I nourished and hydrated myself and went back to bed. At 10am, we all woke up happy, healthy (well, they had runny noses, but let’s look at the grand scheme of things), and ready to go.
3. My husband does not care if the dishes are done, the laundry is folded, the floors are clean. Praise. The. Lord.
4. Olivia is the sweetest thing. While laying on the couch with Benjamin this morning, she came, took off my glasses, and kissed us both on our foreheads.
5. This is temporary. And I don’t mean grad school. This life is but a breath compared to the glorious time we’ll be having in heaven. Where there will be no dishes. No laundry. No teething babies (but please, God, let there be babies!). Thank you, Lord, for the promise of Heaven!

Amazing. I feel better already. When was the last time you counted your blessings? Are you burnt out? Maybe you should give it a try.