“Lorraine Allard was told four months into the pregnancy the devastating news that she was in the advanced stages of cancer.”
She refused treatment so that her child could live.
He was born, naturally, at 25 weeks – a week before her scheduled C-section. His mother began chemotherapy immediately after.
Two months, to the day, after her precious baby boy was born, the cancer overcame her.
Read the rest here.
What would you have do if faced with Lorraine’s diagnosis?
If you are pro-choice, and this was a wanted pregnancy, what would you do?
If like me, and are vehemently against abortion, what would you do if this happened to you? Or, if this happened to your wife, what would you want her to do? Or your sister? Or your daughter?
I’d like to think I would give my life for my child.
After all, my place in eternity is guaranteed.
I think the hardest scenario would be allowing a loved one to give their life for a life yet unseen. It would break my heart if this situation befell my daughter.
What would you do?
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Hat-tip to Ashley for the link.
You said your place in heaven is guaranteed; Do you not think there is a place guaranteed in Heaven for an unborn baby?
Not that I am saying I would undergo chemo if that happened to me. I could never do that to my baby. I’d choose to wait too. I was just wondering because the way you worded that made me wonder.
Jes, I didn’t mean to imply that unborn babies aren’t assured a place in heaven as well! Just that I would have peace in sacrificing my life because I knew where I was going, and that this life is not all I have. But I couldn’t give my child’s life because it’s not mine to give.
Considering how terrible chemo is, and the fact that many doctors have no idea how to deal with cancer, I’d probably go macrobiotic or consider natural methods of healing to let that baby grow as strong and healthy as possible, and give my body a chance to heal.
Emily, you sound like you’ve had some experience in this area. I like what you have to say, but I’ve never heard it before. (I’ve not had reason to research cancer, thank the Lord.)
If those options are safe for baby, it sounds like that’s exactly what a person in Lorraine’s situation should do.
I’ll just put this out there. I think I’m pro-choice for this very reason. I’m definately against abortion, but pro-choice. I just wish there was a way the world could make each choice based on prayer and counsel with spiritual leaders. My own family member once made such a choice and therefore is still living to raise her son that was already on this earth. I think the needs of children already born as well as spouses should be considered. ‘K I’m bracing for the attacks, got my armor on :).
i agree with previous poster…i’d want to be here for the 2 kids i already have……it would likely depend on the kind of cancer and its information..but both options would be considered….but either choice would be made with much much sadness
It’s a REALLY difficult decision, and honestly something that I feel should be made on a case-by-case basis. For one, I think it’s noble that she gave up her own life so that her baby might live. For two, she also left her other three children (plus the newborn baby) without a mother and her husband without a wife. So you could say that more people were affected by her choice to let her baby live than if she had chosen the other way. Now if she didn’t have any other children, I do think the situation would change. Also, we don’t know how bad the cancer was when they initially found it, or how likely it would be that she would survive chemo. My friend’s mom had chemo for a year and a half and died anyways. I think that if complete healing by chemo was a long-shot for me, then I’d be more likely to focus on the baby.
I honestly don’t know what I would do. By all means, I think keeping the baby alive is the best case scenario. However, sometimes that’s not always possible. For example, in the case of a tubal pregnancy – if neither the baby nor the mother will live, then I think I would terminate the pregnancy for the life of the mother. I’ve never been faced with the decision, though, so I honestly don’t know. You never know how you’re going to respond to something until you’re in that position.
I like Emily’s idea of searching for alternative methods of dealing with cancer. I think that is a great idea. I personally don’t know what’s out there, but I think it would be worth checking into.
And what do I think the Bible says? I really, really don’t know. Sometimes when you go to war for a noble cause, some people have to die for the benefit of an entire nation. Israel went to war many times. Is that murder? Or a sacrifice? Can this be translated to this situation? It’s one thing when an abortion is performed for mere convenience, but it’s another when it’s for the sake of preserving the life of the mother.
Ashley, Celina, and Western Warmth,
You all raise good point about staying alive to care for previously born children and spouses.
The only thing is, this thought keeps running through my head:
“Other people can care for my children, whether it be daycare, relatives, or whatever. My spouse can remarry. But only one person can give life to an unborn child.”
I’m not, by any means, saying I know 100% what I would do in this situation. That’s why I appreciate your opinions!
Ashley, I think the article said she was in very advanced stages of cancer when they first found out (when she was four months pregnant). So, I think the odds of her living very long were very low. Perhaps with immediate chemo she could have lived another year or so. I think, in her situation, she did the right thing.
It’s the most no-win situation there would be. If a mom forgoes treatment so that her child can live, does she sacrifice her own wellbeing and at the same time that of her other children? It’s truly an impossible decision.
I would just like to say that there aren’t “altenative” methods for dealing with cancer (none successful anyway). If there was a proven and less drastic method other than chemotherapy it would be the biggest medical acheivement in a hundred years and everyone would know about it. I’ve known a few people who tried alternative methods to deal with cancer and in the end they had to go through chemotherapy and by that time their cancer was more advanced and they had lower odds of surviving.
My closest experience with this was my best friend’s father, who had stage IV lung cancer and a life expectancy of three months.
His doctors told him to eat whatever he wanted and live it up, because he’d die anyway. He switched to an all-raw diet, cut out sugars and saturated fats, among other things, and ended up doing chemo but the chemo didn’t incapacitate him or make him feel miserable.
He lived for a year longer than anyone told him, and actually enjoyed the time he had left. Unfortunately, he caught pneumonia, and it was trapped underneath the cancerous portion of a lung. He became septic and died.
I personally believe that strengthening the body’s healing responses is the best way to deal with any illness. Cancer may call for chemo or radiation therapy, but one has to go into it knowing that these damage not only the cancer cells but the living cells, too.
Since, in her case, there was very little hope of her surviving regardless of the treatment, I would have chosen to keep the child.
Just my two cents. 🙂
Six weeks ago I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. There is no cure for the disease, only delivery of the baby. My blood pressure was out of control, my organs were in danger of shutting down, and I was 25 weeks pregnant with a baby we had struggled to conceive for 2 years. Our baby was born 15 weeks early, and we had 30 minutes with him.
6 months ago, I would have joined this debate, I would have considered it an interesting excerise to think about. And now? Now, I realize that there are no clear answers, that there is no single choice, that there is in fact, no “good” choice. And so, my answer is this: compassion and silence. A simple “I’m sorry.” I am sorry that your wife/mother/sister/baby/child/grandchild has died. I am sorry that we live in a fallen, sinful world. I am sorry that you have joined some of us in a personal, deep anguish that is so vast, there are no words to describe it. I am sorry that others will never understand, and I hold out hope that there is a heaven with no more tears, and no more pain, where I pray your loved one awaits. I proclaim that my redeemer lives, and that He will stand on the earth. That is the only thing I need to know.
And as for the rest, I give thanks for those who never face these decisions in reality, and I pray that they will demonstate kindess and compassion to those of us who do.
Please, kindness, gentleness and a reminder that personal tragedy is not an ethical abstraction for us to entertain ourselves with. It is easy to make decisions when we are not in those situations.
IHS, cheryl
So Beth, just for clarification, do you think then that unborn babies are assured a place in heaven? And if so, would that change anything about the morality of abortion? (since it would be eliminating the possibility of the child’s future rejection of God)
Cheryl, I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you for providing your point of view. I, by no means, mean to tell anyone in that situation that they made the wrong choice. I agree, there is no clear answer. I am so glad, though, that you share my hope of heaven and anticipate meeting your little one in heaven one day.
Jeremy, I <i>do</i> believe that babies are assured a place in heaven. I <i>do not</i> believe that fact changes anything about the morality of abortion. It is not for us to decide which child lives and which child dies. True, the child could have been the next Hitler. Or maybe he had the cure for cancer in his future. Only God knows the possibilities that die with each aborted child. Since we have such limited knowledge, our only action should be to let each pregnancy come to fruition and do our best to reach every child for Christ.
And, Emily, I have a friend who was also diagnosed with cancer, and made the same changes in his diet. He, too, experienced little to no discomfort with chemo. Now only did he keep his hair, he even grew a “chemo beard” – and he had never been able to grow a beard before! He is now cancer free. If ever I were diagnosed with cancer, you can bet that’s the path I’d take! It’s wonderful how well our bodies can defend us when we treat them the way God intended!
Corinne, it’s funny, because I’ve had the opposite experience. The people I know that survived cancer did the “alternative” therapies; the ones that did not survive cancer did the conventional.
I don’t know what I’d do in that situation, and I hope I never have to face it. There are so many things to consider in that situation, it makes my head hurt. It’s definitely not cut-and-dried.