I’m missing from this blog. I visit occasionally to show you pictures and give you updates. But my heart and soul are gone from this place.
I’ve been thinking recently, trying to figure out why. Here’s what I came up with:
- I had a very busy summer, and simply got out of the practice of blogging regularly, blogging thoughts, blogging anything very deep.
- After the miscarriage, I felt obligated to devote my following blogs to that event. I wrote a few and ran out of words. I didn’t know what direction to go in.
- Olivia stopped napping in the afternoons and I’ve been devoting what time I can to teaching her letters and sounds.
- I got pregnant again and now I sleep a lot.
- After the abortion post, where the debate in the comments got heated and I become very emotionally involved, I felt very vulnerable.
I wanted this blog to be a place where I could speak my mind, pound things out, get things off my chest. But I didn’t want to make enemies. And I’ve discovered that not many people hold to every single belief I do. And that in stating my beliefs firmly (I don’t always have the most tact), I am likely to anger people.
And I’ve always wanted to be Prom Queen, if you get my drift. I want people to like me. I want to be pop-u-lar.
So I need to work that out.
- But mostly, I’ve been doing dishes. What used to be a 10 minutes task of loading the dishwasher is now an hour long task of washing, rinsing, drying, and repeating. Not much time for blogging. Unless I started a vlog. I could record myself speaking my mind while holding a dishrag. Appealing, no?
And I’m one-handed now as I nurse a rowdy little boy into what will hopefully (but not likely) be eight to ten hours of unconsciousness. So I guess I’m done blogging for now. G’night!
That is one reason that I moderate my comments. My blog is about ME! It is not a debate forum and I don’t need people saying hurtful things. Hang in there!!!
Please don’t give up. For the last year, I have lurked through a few of my favorite blogs without commenting or considering the idea that I too could be an internet writer. Reading blogs such as yours, where individual people feel comfortable sharing their beliefs and feelings on a private/public journal, is theraputic and inspiring for all involved persons. Please don’t worry about being Prom Queen. Most of those women are unhappy with their own life-choice lives anyway! Other people who don’t like the ideas they read can always find something else on the internet.
There’s just something about that first trimester that knocks you on your feet! I felt it too, and am just getting over it. whew! But now I also have a child that doesn’t sleep. (stupid time change!) But that’s the one great thing about blogging – no deadlines!
Between all the dishes and being in your first trimester, I don’t know how you get ANYTHING done, nevertheless blog, too!
And, about being vulnerable… it’s true that, the more popular your blog gets, the more diverse your readership will be, and the increased likelihood that someone who disagrees with you will happen by. I know on my blog, I have to try to keep ALL my readership in mind while writing- what will my parents, aunts & uncles think? What will my coworkers think? What will my friends think? What will random internet trolls think?- and that means I can’t say all of what I want to much of the time. When someone disagrees, I sometimes take it personally- and I shouldn’t. Just because someone disagrees doesn’t necessarily mean they think I’m awful/evil/stupid, especially if they’re a friend. If they say it in such a way to imply they do think that, that’s their problem- they’re being mean and close-minded to not realize that good, intelligent people can disagree with well-thought-out reasons. My other readers and commenters will realize that, and the mean commenter will be the one who looks bad, not me.
To add, just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean you’ve made an enemy 🙂
I’m usually a lurker, but I feel compelled to tell you that I love your blog. I read only 3 blogs in all of the bloggy universe (in an effort to guard my time and such things), and yours gives me the most smiles. I truly appreciate your politics, your devotion to family and all things natural, your common sense, and above all, the subtle theme running through your blog that no matter what, God is sovereign, good, and gracious. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I esp. love your posts on “What I Believe” on vaccinations, cloth diapers, and things like that.
Also, I don’t have a blog, but I think moderating comments could be a great idea.
Your blog inspired me to start mine. I am extremely busy and thought a blog would take to much of my little time. I don’t do it daily, but I am trying. It is my place to express myself, my prayer requests, my hurts, my smiles, my joys and doing it out of love and compassion. You do the same and I enjoy it. We are all busy and wrapped up in the “now” and we can understand where you are. you are one of us – God’s servants. We all struggle with day to day tasks, husbands, children, friends, family, and our own bodies. Please keep this up. We all need a break every now and then and it is OK. I will pray for you as you get through this time. We are sisters – that’s what we need to be doing for one another.
Amy Q
Thank you for this blog. I know you are exhausted and have a lot of other important things to do, but it has really helped me. It is a breath of fresh air to come here and see a happy healthy mommy, her beautiful children, and dedicated husband working hard to live a simple, healthy, godly lifestyle. I have so much to learn from you. And actually, I initially bookmarked you because of your depth of wisdom reguarding cloth diapering, = ) but I have come to really appreciate you for lots of other reasons.
Take whatever time you need for that sweet baby you are growing and the two adorable children that you are teaching, but please know that you are an inspiration and blessing to people like me.
I hope you stick with it – wide awake children and all.
We all want to be true to ourselves on line, and sometimes that ends up with people being thoughtless and sometimes even being mean. (I regret to say, I’ve done the former myself).
Moderating comments will help you feel less exposed. Also the Meanest Mom wrote a great post once about reading the bad comments aloud in a silly voice to your husband. It’s a surprisingly effective way to deflate the self important stuff that people see fit to write.
You’ve got a great blog going – I hope you keep going.
I think we should be as authentic online as we feel comfortable being. If you are writing FOR yourself, then be true to what you think and feel. If you are writing TO someone or a specific group, then perhaps you will need to moderate yourself a bit.
Personally, I err on the side of honesty.
p.s. And I’m not ashamed of it. 🙂
I love your blog, by the way. But you knew that right?
For the time being, you could institute a very clear comment policy of not publishing antagonistic or heated comments. In fact, I think that on your “what I believe posts” there’s no reason to allow comments at all. That would allow you to blog about things that are important to you and that you’ve clearly thought about in depth without worrying about being attacked for them. I love your What I Believe Posts. You write them about issues you’ve already made up your mind about, so there’s really no reason for someone to start an argument with you in the comments – it’s not like they’re going to be able to make you change your mind.
Dealing with comments can be the most emotionally taxing part of blogging. Take a break from comments if you need to, in order to keep on blogging!