In Part One, I introduced a few ideas on how to reduce the cost of a birthing experience. Now I’d like to share what I know about how to actually afford to bring the baby home.
The main way to save money in this area is to change your frame of mind when it comes to what you “need” for your baby. Even if you expect family to throw enough baby showers to provide for your wants, it’s wise to register for the things you really need, so you don’t have to buy them later.
It is very tempting to walk into Babies R Us, grab the registry folder, and absolutely, beyond-a-doubt believe that you need everything listed. But, three and a half years after my first was born, and 20 months after my second, I have a different way of seeing that list. It involves a thick black marker. And lots of crossing-out.
Babies R Us and Pottery Barn would like you to believe you must have a completely furnished nursery with matching crib/glider/changing table/dresser. Stuffed animals in the corner. Decorative quilt and valance declaring your baby’s gender. Um, yeah. My babies didn’t even sleep in their own room until they were over a year old.
So here’s a list of baby furniture that I deem “necessary”.
- A Pack n’ Play. So many things rolled into one. A changing table, a bassinet, a crib, a place to let baby play with safe toys in an otherwise unsafe area. And you can put it in your trunk and bring it to Grandma’s. If you want the absolute cheapest way to do it, I’d say to get a Pack ‘n Play and forget the crib/bassinet/changing table completely. Perhaps not the most aesthetically pleasing, but sometimes, when you’re strapped for cash, aesthetics are the first to go.
- A dresser. Consult Craigslist.org along with relatives who may be itching for a change of bedroom scenery.
- If you plan to co-sleep, I’d recommend a railing for the side of the bed where Mommy will be sleeping.
- Cribs are nice. I don’t want to downplay the crib. The railing that slides down makes it much easier to put baby down. The different settings for the height of the mattress are also extremely convenient and something that a Pack ‘n Play can’t provide. Not absolutely necessary, of course, but odds are, you have a relative who either really, really wants to get you this or has one already and wants to hand it off to you.
Some people may say they can’t live without their glider. We can. We got one – the cheapest one available – and after a couple years, it needed regular appointments with the WD-40 to keep it from waking the dead. We avoid it like the plague now, as it is completely counter-productive. I’m wishing we would have gotten a rocker instead, but now that we’ve lived without the glider for the past year or so, I really don’t feel the drive to go out and replace it.
So really, that’s it for baby furniture. Yes, there are swings and bouncers and lots of fun things some mommies say they wouldn’t have been able to survive without. Neither one of my babies liked the swing. Or the bouncer (for longer than five minutes). If I had to do that over again, I would have registered for something more worthwhile. Like toddler clothes.
But, to replace the swing and bouncer, I DO highly recommend that a new mommy get a sling of some sort (my favorite is the Maya Wrap). It’s not technically furniture, but it holds the same function as the swing and bouncer, works soooo much more effectively, and doesn’t take up any of your living room.
One more thing about furniture and decorations, do try to override the desire to paint everything pink, or to plaster pretty blue sailboats all over everything. I was so mad at my husband for putting his foot down and refusing to let me buy that beautiful pink comforter/crib set. Less than two years later, when our little boy arrived, I was so grateful he had the common sense I had lacked! Gender neutral saves money.
Now, onto baby clothes:
Onesies. They’re a staple. They’re cheap. They clothe your baby day and night. Register for these. Shop garage sales for these. Locate the nearest second hand children’s store for these.
Which reminds me. LOCATE THE NEAREST SECOND HAND CHILDREN’S STORE. Babies do not wear through their clothes. They may stain them, but second hand stores generally don’t accept those articles. The difference between buying them new and buying them second hand is virtually nothing but the price. In fact, I’ve been able to buy several things NEW WITH TAGS at a second hand store and I thoroughly enjoy seeing the price someone ELSE paid for it, and comparing it to the price I paid.
Oh, and also, I have had extreme blessings in the clothing area, because I have some very generous family who saved buckets of pretty pink girl clothes in organized rubbermaid containers. Every year, I receive one such container. I have hardly had to buy anything for Olivia except socks and underwear. Never turn down a hand-me-down.
I also request clothes at holidays and birthdays for my children, along with select toys. Of course, they’re still going to receive toys. But you’ll be able to stock up on enough clothes that you won’t need to buy many at all.
But when you do need to shop, shop the end-of-season sales for the next year. After shopping this way for awhile, you won’t be able to fathom spending $10 or even $5 on a shirt. Not when your closet is filled with $0.97 steals.
You really don’t need very many “fancy” outfits for your baby, unless you plan on taking her out every-single-day. I would guess that my children have perhaps 4 “nice” seasonally appropriate outfits. Other than that, it’s plain t-shirts (short and long-sleeve), which are cheap enough; and jeans, which can be re-worn often enough that the price makes them worth it. Oh, and a long-sleeve white t-shirt can nicely extend the seasonal appropriateness of a nice short sleeve shirt. This actually brings the total of Benjamin’s “nice” outfits up to probably around eight.
Friends and family will want to buy you the tiniest baby clothes available. You will receive more 0-3 month clothes than any other age, I guarantee it. Tiny baby clothes are CUTE. However, in order to balance our your closet and keep you needs in check, you may want to speak to the person planning your shower to see if perhaps they could suggest different sizes. You’ll most likely have more than one shower. Perhaps one shower can be for baby clothes, and the next for toddlers. And there’s always gift receipts. Pick out your favorite 0-3 month outfits, hang them up, then take the rest back to the store and shop for larger sizes.
And now… the bane of every penny-pinching mommy’s existence… DIAPERS.
If you REALLY want to save money in this area, then you need to buy cloth diapers. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, it won’t come as a shock to you that, yes, people do still use cloth diapers. If you haven’t, well, I should have prepared you, I suppose. But really. Did you not see my banner? 🙂
I’ve written a couple in-depth posts about cloth diapers, including the basic how-to’s of folding prefolds and washing instructions and the different kind of conveneince (pocket) diapers that I’ve used and prefer. Here is one study on the cost of using disposables, where the price ranges from $1862 to $2358 for a 3 1/2 year span, per child. If you buy a 24-pack of the #1 best selling cloth diaper, your bill will only be $430. And they are one-size diaper that will fit your baby from birth through potty training. And there are other one-size diapers out there that have snaps instead of velcro, which, in my theory, will last better for multiple children, making your savings even greater.
And if $430 is a lot to put up in one shopping spree, start out slow with prefolds, which are only $1.50 per diaper, and a handful of covers at $10 each. You’ll need to buy more when your baby hits 15 and 30 pounds, and babysitters may not be as willing to work with them, but you’ll still be saving enough money that you could afford a pack of Pampers for those occasions.
And if you’re going to be throwing the diaper in the wash, it just makes more sense that you be able to throw the wipe in there, too. I used to use cloth diapers with disposable wipes and more than I care to admit ended up going through the wash. After picking the lint from the wipe off the velcro on the diapers entirely too many times, we switched to cloth wipes and have been saving money every since. Oh, right, and the cloth wipes helped clear up a rash on my baby’s sensitive skin. Can’t forget that minor detail.
Another way to save thousands of dollars is to nurse your baby. I’ve never actually bought a can of formula. But rumor has it, it’s more expensive than breast milk. Nursing can be difficult at first, so definitely seek professional help, both beforehand to prepare yourself and at the first sign of anxiety – and I’m talking lactation consultants, la leche league leaders, not your pediatrician. True, there are women who have no choice except formula, but I encourage every mother to seek professional help before coming to that conclusion.
Breastfeeding also pushes back the age where you need to start introducing solid foods. Generally, it’s not recommended until six months and not entirely necessary for the first year when the baby is breastfed. My babies never liked baby food mush, so I never did buy into Gerber, or even experiment with homemade baby food. I simply made sure they were nursing enough to gain weight and when they expressed interest in table food, I let them try to softer, bite-size parts of the meal.
I’m sure I’ll think of more to add tomorrow, but this post is long enough already! Plus it’s late and I need to get to bed. (Why is 1am my preferred blogging time? Why?!)
Please add to this post in the comments with your suggestions on how to reduce the cost of babies. I’m sure you’re all smarter than me and can think of things I’ve missed. Because you probably all went to bed at a reasonable hour. Silly reasonable people.
I’m going to totally disagree on the sling/carrier.
We got TWO before our son was born. When we tried to use it, he did nothing but scream because of the snug way it held him (he also hated swaddling). It was probably the most useless thing we got (besides all the nicely scented baby wash that gave him hives).
In it’s place, I’d like to substitute a boppy or bouncer. Both allowed me to rest my arms occasionally.
Also, lactation consultants can be less than helpful. We hired one who told me I *couldn’t* nurse and just brought me a pack of formula at what became her last visit.
Almost everything can be gotten for that first year as a hand me down or cheaply. Although I encourage any Mom to spend the money on a GOOD breast pump. Even if you never plan on having to feed via bottle, for engorgement, blocked ducts, etc its like a miracle.
I couldn’t agree more with everything you said here!
It took us until baby #3, but the king-sized bed has been a pretty great addition!
oh, also disagree on breastfeeding necessarily pushing back the solid food age. Our son was grabbing food off my plate and eating it at 5 months. If you’re looking for a cheaper alternative to “baby food”, baby led weaning is a good option to look at.
Great article! Last time I was pregnant I wasn’t that worried about money since both of us were working but now that we’re single income (not to mention the state of our economy…) I’ve gotta learn about what is a want and what is a need.
I’m also trying to get over my fear of shopping secondhand. I just bought a ring sling for $4 from a lady on a parenting forum and I’m so excited and proud of myself.
There really isn’t much we need, especially if this one is a another boy. I can’t wait to read more on this subject!
I’m not blessed with children yet, but as a prospective mother, THANK YOU!!! I really appreciate your advice. As I see how much stuff my friends and sisters buy, I was suspecting it was not all truly necessary. 🙂
Becoming Mommy,
Table food is still cheaper, and more convenient than baby food! 🙂 And thank you for your opinion on slings, every baby is different. I guess the best option would be to borrow a sling, or bouncer from a friend to see which your baby’s temperament best fits.
And we can’t forget the blanket-on-the-floor technique, when your arms need a rest or you have work to do. Babies love to watch Mommies work.
*Ahem* Some babies… 😛
I’m a lactation consultant (the kind that doesn’t show up with formula!), and a baby-wearing, second-hand shopping, penny-pincher. This is such a great series!
Our first few months with a newborn are made more affordable and convenient by making and freezing dinners ahead of time. It keeps us from eating takeout for 3 months straight (GAG!). Usually during pregnancy months 4-7, I make doubles of our favorite dinners and put the extras in the deep freeze to be consumed after the birth. I shop sales and use coupons to afford the extra groceries. I even freeze desserts and other treats so that there’s always something yummy and nutritious in the house.
I agree…used clothes (and most other stuff barring safety issues) is best! I think a good sling is a great idea too…I just have yet to find one that works well for us. I’ll have to look into the MAya wrap. We were thinking Ergo for #2, but they are expensive so I want to make sure its worth it (and can’t find them used hardly ever!). Thanks for the info!
Rachael – check out ebay for used Maya Wraps (that don’t come from smoking homes!) I bought mine there for less than half the cost of a new one. It’s also possible to make your own, or if you’re not that crafty, I’m sure there are shops at etsy.com where you can buy mommy-made ones cheaper than brand-name ones.
I think the hard part is that it is different for every person and can even be different for each baby, so it is hard to know ahead of time what you need and don’t need. I know that’s how we wound up with a lot of stuff that was never used.
I know for us we never had a pack’n play and we didn’t miss it at all. We had a crib and it was totally unnecessary for us (we never planned to cosleep, but that’s what happened and we never needed the crib, even when DS started sleeping in his own room we just put him on the toddler mattress on the floor). But the swing, for us that was indispensable. It was the only place DS would nap or sleep for the first year unless he was nursing or in or arms, so without the swing I would never have showered or eaten lunch–I would’ve been stuck on the couch holding and nursing him all day until my husband got home to relieve me. I guess for him the motion was the trick to getting him to stay asleep, which is why pack and plays or cribs didn’t work for us. I couldn’t even get him to stay asleep if I laid down in bed with him, as soon as I left the room he was awake and screaming. The swing was like magic for us. I’m not a fan of using them to contain a baby for long periods of time, but for naps they can be great (if your baby likes it of course! some babies don’t).
Oh, and for anyone looking for help with slings, check out http://thebabywearer.com , especially their messageboard. You can get a lot of help there to get a sling you already have to work for you, or to find suggestions for something else. They have a FSOT forum too if you want to buy a used sling.
I do think a sling of some kind is great for just about anyone though, I definitely recommend finding one that works for each mama and baby 🙂
I love this series. Babies really need so little.
Although we don’t NEED it, we are looking around for a gently used rocking recliner. I figure if I’m going to spend hours nursing our sweet baby, I want to have a cozy place for the two of us to snuggle.
I agree that gender neutral (although it’s a bit of a pain to shop for) is going to be cost effective down the road. I stare at so many things asking myself, “Is that more boy than girl? Is that too frilly? Too blue?” Ugh. Although everything we have is hand-me-down or used so far, I’m starting to pick out some light sage fabrics (for basket liners, blankets, etc.). I figure if I have a girl and can’t stand the neutralness any longer, I can add some cute pink ribbon and be fine with it!
Don’t hesitate to ask for cloth diapers for your baby showers, birthdays, Christmas presents, etc. Let your friends and relatives help with that initial expense. I did!
Well written article, Beth.
My cousin came up with a great 2nd use for the tiny flannel receiving blankets that you will get a TON of. She used the ones she was least fond of for burp cloths. Much cheaper than buying fancy burp cloths.
Oh, one more thing. You did cloth diapers while apartment living without a washer and dryer, right? If you ever want to do a post on that, I’d love it! I really want to cloth diaper, but taking diapers to a laundromat seems so overwhelming to me. I could really use some tips. Thanks!
I don’t know whether this necessarily saves money, but getting a diaper rinser totally sold me on getting cloth diapers. We got ours for under $40; it attaches to the toilet and sprays the soiled diaper. I know Bum Genius brand has one, but I’m sure there are more out there. That and a couple of washable diaper-pail liners, and it’s easy-peasy to do cloth.
There’s a new product out (summer 2008, I think) called a Milk-Saver, which collects breastmilk from the second breast while you are nursing on the first. Even if your baby is eating solid foods, you could use the extra breastmilk for adding to rice pudding, etc. I went out on a limb (there aren’t many online reviews), and I really love it: I found the let-down is less painful, and there is *much* less mess from too much milk, and I’m saving money on the breast pads, too.
My husband and I have long been glad that we picked the rocking chair over a glider. I’m 7 months pregnant with baby #3 and it’s still a delight.
This is the first time he’s been willing to go with cloth diapers, which is a real delight to me.
We’re getting hand me downs for baby clothes for the most part, so just about nothing will need to be bought. Good thing, since most of our baby stuff was long since passed to other family members.
Buying at the end of the season! Meijer had a whole shelf of 97 cent clothes. Plus we don’t really buy the size he’s in. We always (unless it’s just too cute) buy up. If he’s in 9-12 we’ll buy 18.
For us I haven’t committed to cloth diapers yet but do use cloth wipes I made. Making things is easy and if your not crafty you can probably find someone who is and work out an arrangement on getting things. My mother sews and we had a neighbor who didn’t, so her daughter traded babysitting for alterations, for example.
I agree with just about everything, especially the table food. The only thing i would add is, our exersaucer was a lifesaver, and personally I have never met a baby who didn’t totally dig their exersaucer. I’m sure one or two are out there, but they are rare.
Borrow, borrow, borrow. Baby stuff takes up tons of space and there are always moms who will almost pay you to take a swing or exersaucer out of the corner of our living room or garage.
And as far as breastfeeding – when it works, it is fabulous, but there are some of us who will never be able to breastfeed no matter what. Just something to keep in mind…many women don’t nurse for a variety of reasons, no matter how hellbent they were on nursing while pregnant. I was one of those and had I shelled out $200 for a breast pump I would have been devastated. So I recommend holding off on the very expensive equipment until you know that nursing is going to be a definite. I also know lots of moms who nursed for a year and very rarely used their pump, or found a hand pump easier. Rented hospital pumps are a great way to “test drive” before making a big purchase.
I want to add the ergo, or any other two-shouldered put weight-on-the-hips soft carrier. My child would not tolerate the sling before he was 4 months old, and my shoulder couldn’t tolerate it any more once he hit about 15 lb. He is two now and we STILL use the ergo for places that are not toddler friendly, or “I won’t take a nap/ go to bed” days. For us, with our sleep-fighting-all-the-way child who loves to be carried, it has been a total life saver worth every penny. They come with a trial period where you can send it back, so I’d just wait until the child is big enough for it (big enough to wrap legs around mommy) and then give it a try. The “infant insert” did not work at all for us, he got way too hot.
Also, with baby wearing, I have to say we had to try several different carriers before we found one he liked, and it took a lot of practicing on MY part. If I was frustrated with trying to put the carrier on and get the baby in it, my child could sense that and would scream no matter what kind of carrier it was. Some areas have baby-wearing groups where you can go to a meeting, meet experienced baby-wearers, and try out several types of carrier with in-person help. Look for something like that if you live in or near a big city- I would have LOVED to do that.
I learned this just this week–
If you’re on WIC (extra food for low-income moms and kids) you can “rent” a hospital grade breast pump for free!
And I second the “borrow” mantra. My son loved his bouncy seat, HATED the swing. My second one seems to be the same way. I’ve borrowed everything–including a baby bathtub. Then when I’m done I just hand it back!
I second all the furniture suggestions except the sling. Tried it with both my babies and they both hated it.
Keep in mind, children don’t need that much. Period. Ask yourself twice if your baby really needs it. That will save you more money than anything.
As for cloth-diapers, be sure you talk to your husband before you take off on that front. Mine won’t change them. Disposable it is.
One thing I did this time around was make my own breast pads — I used disposable last time because all the ones I tried before stuck to me (ouch!). If you can sew, 4 layers of flannel, (I used scraps!!) satin-stitch a circle, trim the edges — best breast pads I’ve ever used! (although lots of my friends didn’t even need them — but I have OALD, so leaking is just part of my life) 🙂 LOL
Great tips, Beth!
Oh – another place you can save money (or spend way too much if you’re not careful) is carseats! Everyone wants to register for a cute carrer/carseat — which were wonderful for us — but talk to friends who have babies, first. Many little ones will outgrow the most popular ones (SnugRide, or most of the evenflo ones) by the time they’re 4 or 5 months old – so either borrow one from a trustworthy friend (check the expiration dates and have them inspected!) or buy one of the ones that will fit your little one until after their first birthday. OR . . . just get a good convertible car seat and skip the “bucket” altogether.
We’re on baby #3 here, and the best investments we’ve made : definitely the Ergo, I used it almost every day with our second baby; baby monitor to use when they’re a bit older and don’t stay up late to watch too much TV with momma and daddy; exersaucer (borrowed from SIL); swing for naps and “i gotta go to the bathroom!!”; nursing tank tops for mommy (not technically a baby item, but necessary to me when I have a little one that needs to nurse no matter where we are). We have the whole nursery set up and guess what? So far our 6 week old has never slept in the crib and I have no idea when/if he will. He’s in bed with us and sometimes in the cosleeper.
I agree on having a gender-neutral nursery. For our first (a girl), we just had yellow walls with a cute Winnie the Pooh theme. Now, with our second (a boy) on the way that will need the nursery room, we don’t have to make any changes. What a money saver.
I would recommend perhaps borrowing slings from friends to “test drive” on your baby before actually buying one. Our daughter never could stand being in any kind of sling or carrier. She’s always been extremely active, and I think slings/carriers were just a little too confining rather than comforting for her tastes.
Great tips!
I’m late to the party here :>) but I wanted to provide a site referenced above. The Ergo carriers are available on http://www.myfavoritebabycarrier.com with the money-back guarantee and they sell the used ones at a discount (when they have them). Mine was barely used, if at all.
I didn’t care for the sling as I couldn’t raise the one arm. I started trying to make a moby type wrap out of a piece of jersey cloth but that was about the time I got my ergo and I didn’t look back!
Very good post! It’s so easy, as a new mom, to think you should register for one (or two…) of everything!
I tried to keep our list minimal, borrow from friends, and check out the garage sales before baby #1 was born. Thank goodness! Our little guy never liked the swing, so I’m glad we had a hand-me-down rather than an expensive new one!
My bunco group is always passing around baby gear – Bumbo seats, travel swings, ride-on toys, etc…these things are usually in use by some member of the group! We all benefit by sharing these items!
We bought our baby’s bedding and room decor used from e-bay. For $60, we got the sheets, quilt, lamp, wall decorations, night light, and a few other things. All we needed was a can of light green paint for a gender-neutral nursery!
If you’re not into garage sales, e-bay is also a great source for buying a bundle of baby clothes at a reasonable price.
As for the glider, I will admit that this was one nice splurge! I don’t know what we’d do without that wonderfully comfortable glider!
I counted once that I had loaned my swing to 8 different babies. Now with my fourth, it’s done which is fine since my baby isn’t nuts about it.
I haven’t even done a nursery with kids 2-4. Even once I had a girl. You’re not suppose to use those comforters or bumper pads anyway so why buy them? I had a twin bed in my daughter’s room so instead I bought a cute twin quilt and really enjoyed laying down to nurse her in her room so I didn’t disturb dad.
I cannot give up the disposable diapers. But I do use cheap ones for day time and expensive ones for night time.
We’re doing a lot of reading preparing for our new child … good article!
As the owner of a children’s resale shop…I TOTALLY agree with the “keep the tags on everything” advice!
More than half…probably closer to 75% of what you receive in the way of clothing will be the wrong season, duplicate, or just plain impractical for your baby.
If you keep the tags on clothing you KNOW you won’t be able to use, you can return it and get 100% of the money someone spent on it back – to use for important things like diapers, socks, and bigger clothes.
If you take the tags off, wash it, etc. – you will be bringing it to a consignment shop or putting it in a garage sale and getting a fraction of the price originally paid for it.
Oh, keep the tags on and RETURN promptly anything you don’t think you’ll use! You can always get gift cards from that particular store and re-buy an item if you decide you really have to have it.
Just my two cents after seeing 1000’s of items, unworn, sold at my shop over the years.