Have you ever had a day so filled with whining you just want to scream? The crying, the stealing of toys, the clinging to your legs when you really don’t have a hand to hold them. (And I would have put him in the sling if he had decided he wanted to be held when my hands weren’t already covered in dinner preparations.)
For me, my body goes through a physical response during those times. My muscles tense. My eyes widen. My lips retract. My breath comes in shorter bursts. It’s fight or flight. And I’m leaning towards fight.
But who do I fight? The 22 month-old reaching up for me with tears in his eyes?
Somewhere along the line, I’ve developed the Kiss of Frustration.
As soon as my hands are free and clean, I bend over, pick up the cryingwhiningneedyclingy offender, and kiss them so fiercely on the cheek, a growl often escapes my lips.
I may even pretend to bite them on the nose.
With more growling.
Then I deal with the situation, whether it be get the sling, or place the child in his room with the door shut until I’m done with my business.
But the Kiss is a necessary step for me. It’s a release. It relieves the stress. It loosens my muscles, forces my lips back out to their normal position, and deepens my breathing. I’m even able to blink afterwards.
And, I figure, it’s better than screaming at the top of my lungs. I mean, after all, we do share a wall with our neighbors…
Please tell me you reach this level of frustration, Mommieswhoreadthis. Tell me I’m normal. What do you do to regain your peace of mind?
um.. weirdo. you must be the only mom who gets like this. I think I told you that the other day when you called from your closet…. 🙂
Yah Right.
I wish I knew about that kiss of frustration about 6 months ago. My first reaction is yell at whoever is making me frustrated. I’ve recenly tried something that actually works.
I walk away. If my husband is home the walking away is normally hand in hand with “You deal with her please, before I scream.” Then I just take a minute to breath and relax.
I might have to start this kiss of frustration though.
Mmm oh yes. How to stop the whining when the child who is whining doesn’t really know/speak/understand words yet (although she’s pretty darn close). Certainly logic cannot prevail in the mind of the almost-one-year-old. And Mama loves her logic.
You are normal.
Kisses are good. Big bear hugs are good (just make sure to not actually crush the Whiner). Sometimes I just break into the Dance of Frustration – Baby gets a laugh and Mama gets to flail around madly for a minute.
I read Mommies-who-read-this as Mommies-whore-eadthis. I could not figure out what the last word was or why you were talking about mommy whores.
Yup, I definitely get plenty of those moments. But I hadn’t figured out a good alternative to dealing with it, yet… I’m definitely remembering this for next time. Because, without a doubt, there *will* be a next time….
I get that feeling too and I think your mode of operation is sooo sweet. I usually try to do the same whether it’s a kiss, a hug, or tickles…it helps keep me calm. Good for you.
i have been known to leave the room and get my pillow and scream into it in a Tarzan like manner. Really really loudly but so its muffled by the pillow. it sort of helps.
try it and let me know 😉
I hear ya. So far, my main frustration with the baby is when he starts crying for no reason. I go for a zerbert on the tummy rather than a kiss, hoping for a giggle to come out of the tears. Sometimes I get lucky. Other times, my husband comes home to find two people to cheer up.
Not only are you NOT the only one who gets like this, but you’re not the only one who uses The Kiss of Frustration (though you may have been the only one to NAME that kiss lol).
My day yesterday was like this, actually. 5yr old and 4 month old both wanted my attention ALL day …. usually while I was trying to get something done. Thankfully my husband was home to help out!! Even gave me a backrub to get rid of the tension … and play with my hair too. Heck, I even got a bit of a footrub. To get treated so lovely made me feel kind of bad that I let myself get so frustrated to begin with.
Today’s been MUCH better.
as you know by now, um,you are so not alone! i think i shall give the kiss a try myself! i hate it when i actually do scream, and sadly, it doesn’t even help me feel all that much better b/cs then i just feel guilty that i lost control like that!
I sigh. And what’s so sweet is my observant oldest hears me sigh, backs off the whining and says, “I’m sorry, Momma. You okay?” He’s been in tune with me since day one which is both good and bad.
I get this. When Peaches is giving me her saddest face – completely tragic – and there’s nothing I can do about it, only the kiss of frustration will do.
Yep. Sometimes it takes an enforced act of maternal devotion to get us all through the moment.