Hi.

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You may have noticed me.

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I mean, I’m getting pretty big.

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Well, I’d just like to address something.  I know what time it is.

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And it is NOT for any lack of strength that this baby has not come yet.

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I mean, it takes two for a baby to come, you knew that, right?  If it were just up to me, I would have shot this thing out weeks ago.  I have the capabilities.

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Not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty buff.

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Like, when I go to the gym, the other uteri can’t help but gawk.  And then slink out quietly, embarrassed and unwilling to work out with such an intimidating force overshadowing them.

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And I’ve worked hard to get where I am today.  Special diets, special drinks, lots of exercise.

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And all in preparation for the big event.  The metaphorical marathon.  I’m ready.

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Just wanted you to know.

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The above message was an attempt to humorously explain and personify the constant braxton hicks contractions.  Just in case you didn’t get it.