Sorry for the absence. Levi spit up on my lappy and it hasn’t been working. So think twice before leaning your four-month olds over the keyboards for their webcam close-ups with family and friends, mmk?
Tired. I’m tired.
Being self-sustaining is exhausting. Using cloth diapers, making wipe solution, washing and reusing baggies, homeschooling, hanging laundry to dry, making dinner from scratch every night – all things I’m passionate about.
But also things that take a lot of time and energy.
And sometimes I just want to throw out the dirty baggies. Toss the clothes in the dryer. Reach for the disposables. Send my kids to preschool. Plan to go out for dinner. Lay down on the couch and take a good, long nap.
But we can’t afford any of that. And I really don’t WANT any of that. Well, besides the dryer. Wish we could afford to use the dryer.
So I’m tired.
And I’m contemplating whether or not to even hit “Publish” since this post is so mopey and complainy and I’m really not normally even like this. But in effort to dispel any rumors that I may be SuperMom… here I go.
I was sitting down to write the SAME post! Girl, I hear ya. I actually just called my hubby almost in tears so he could pick up some pasta so i could make spaghetti. Luckily he heard the desperation in my voice and offered to make it for me. Of course I still have a load of laundry and dipes to wash, as well as clean up the kitchen, proof 4 photo shoots plus my kids 2 shoots. Oh yea, and the 12 pounds of grapes that need to be turned into juice and jam and the 1 1/2 bushels of apples that need to be sauced.
Trying to do all we do and still spend HOURS each day with a child on the boob, is just that. Trying.
And it doesn’t help that I’ve gone a week w/o my B Complex vitamins. Hurry UPS, hurry!!
Oh, Donielle, THANK YOU for you honesty! 🙂 I think you may have more on your plate than I do, with your jams and juices and whatnot. 🙂 Enjoy your hubby-made, store-bought spaghetti and the peace of mind that comes with that little break!
:(.I think that part of being Super mom is admitting when you’re tired and want to do something easier. I also think that part of being super mom is knowing sometimes you HAVE to do what is easier. but that’s me. So if I upset you by saying “use sposies for a week” I’m sorry. I just know that sometimes the break from 2-3 extra loads of laundry a week is all I need to get me back at the top of my game.
Loke you Super mom.
Jes, you need to stop assuming you’ve offended me. 😛 You didn’t. And the tiredness won’t last. It’s likely just a day-long thing that a good night’s sleep will cure. My easy-out actually is letting the kids watch a short film from the library while I sit and do nothing. Er, I mean answer email and respond to comments.
I’m with you on all of this! Every few weeks I have a terrible day when I think what am I doing. Everyone else just eats at Burger King, Dunkin Donuts (insert favorite nasty fast food here) why shouldn’t we. Or the laundry is piled up, the diapers need to be striped, the baby is up all night, or better yet the baby sleeps and the toddler wakes me up to use the potty. Ah the joys of motherhood. But like you I like doing these things for my family.
But alas I want to be in your shoes next year with three 2 years apart. I’ve decided that the reason we do it is because despite the lack of sleep or money or time or energy, we love what we do and the smiles on the kid’s (and hubby’s) face is worth every minute of it. Makes you forget the sleepless nights and the energy drain that is being a stay at home mom.
We can’t do everything, but we sure can set lofty goals! One rough day last week I got to sneak in a nap when everyone finally fell assleep around 1:40pm. It was the best hour ever and recharged my batteries just enough. Usually a nap or a nice hot shower is in your future and will help give you the added boost to keep plugging away! Know that you are not alone.
Steph,
Thank you SO much for sharing! You’re so totally right. It’s just one day every so often, and the cure is usually as simple as a nap or a good night’s sleep! And yes, we do it for the smiles! Why, just two days ago I was telling my husband how much I love my life right now. So I KNOW it’s just a one-day slump. 🙂
What’s a good nights sleep? Do you get those when you have kids?
Hmm, to me, a good night’s sleep is one where Levi doesn’t need a diaper change, is never fussy, simple wakes (and only really half-way wakes) to eat and falls back to a dead sleep. Where I only have to roll over to switch sides maybe 3 times? That’s a good night’s sleep.
And I get awesome nights like this because I have an awesome husband who takes care of the older two when I’m nursing a little one in bed. He changes beds and clothes when someone has an accident and he cuddles when someone needs loving. 🙂
(But perhaps the reason he accepts this responsibility so readily is because he realizes that Levi will wake and scream as soon as I leave and until I get back so it’s just best that way!)
(But he also is good to do night-time chores like that when I’m hugely pregnant and tired. Or just first-trimester pregnant and tired. Basically, he’s just awesome.)
(And, by the way, I’ve either been nursing or pregnant for the past, oh, five years? Straight! Hehe.)
a good night for me is Caylee only waking twice. but she’s 14 months old, and only waking twice has happened twice in her life.
and yes, you do have an awesome husband.
I’ve had 5 or 6 months of not being pregnant or nursing in the past 4.5 years. that was after the molar pregnancy when they told me not to get pregnant for 6 months. 🙂
Thanks for your transparency. We all need a little of that. And in the interest of full disclosure . . . we took the kids to CiCis tonight because I was too tired to cook. I put off diapers until in the morning — (which means I have to HOPE that he doesn’t pee too much before they’re done!) and I have apples rotting on my kitchen counter . . . but maybe I’ll actually get those in the crock pot tomorrow . . .
But for now . . . sleep (hopefully I’ll get an hour or so before my (not so little) nursling comes into our bed for the rest of the night!
Hang in there!!! 🙂
Katheine,
Thank YOU for YOUR honesty. 🙂 I hope you got enough sleep last night to be rested enough today to tackle all those apples and diapers!
My husband unloaded and loaded the dishwasher for me this morning! But I did NOT get a good sleep last night. Levi was still very antsy. I was hoping the night before was because he needed to poop, which he did yesterday. Maybe he’s still working out more?
We’ve all been there, and it’s hard.
Work is hard, and this is our work. You’re doing a wonderful job trying to get through the lean days and sticking to the things you believe in.
We’re in the throes of potty-training (which has been pretty successful using the method you recommended used with your second) and grad school applications and mid-terms and my boys haven’t seen their father in nearly a week and I can’t seem to get out from under the laundry pile.
I ate popcorn for dinner last night I was too tired (and menstrual) to make anything else. Somehow those few days are the hardest in the month for me 🙂
Emily,
We just got our Daddy back! It was a rough few weeks! Midterms (he has two this semester? When I was in school, there was just ONE midterm week…) combined with a whole truck load of interviews, combined with a proposal due for a project.
I’m glad potty training has been going well. Soon you’ll be where I am – on the other side of potty training 🙂 – and you’ll love your toddler’s new-found independence!
I hope your hubby’s midterms are over soon (and that he only has ONE this semester).
Thank you so much for sharing! 😀
Hang in there, Beth. I know it’s hard and you feel like all you want to do is tell the nanny to care for the kids while you and your husband go out to have a fantastic night or two in a great hotel while eating at a Michelin rated restaurant for every meal. It’s tough sometimes, especially when you are trying your best to be patient with your husband’s effort to reach his goals. You’re a good wife and mom.
Thank you SO much for your kind words, Rachel! 🙂 SO glad I have bloggy friends like you!! 😀
Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom and read a book and pretend I don’t hear the kids ransacking the house.
Wooooo, this post of yours is sorta feeling like Post Secret, where we can admit to our deepest Mommy-failure-secrets!
Becky, I know! And I love it! Keep spilling, mommas!! 😀
I think it’s my turn… I’ve discovered that nothing hides the tell-tale crinkle of cellophane (ie candy wrappers) better than a running kitchen faucet. Not only is it sneaky, but also very not green. 🙂
Wow… how many times have I gone through these same thought processes. I am so glad to hear there are other mothers out there who can’t do it all! Like you, I’m washable-nappying, cooking/baking from scratch, homeschooling, and somehow still sane. It’s time to think about Christmas presents and I feel so rebellious… I’M NOT MAKING THEM THIS YEAR!!!!!! Whew. Felt great to confess that to complete strangers, from this side of the Atlantic to yours. 🙂
Oh, Erin, a MUCH NEEDED BREAK. Unfortunately*, it looks like I *will* be making most of our Christmas present this year. Other than those that can be bought with Amazon gift cards. 🙂 But it’s a first for me!
*Unfortunately for me? Or them… yet to be determined. 😉