I received another Natural Mommy question from a different friend, this time about co-sleeping:
So what happens when the baby you co-sleep with starts crawling around in his sleep? He crawled halfway down the bed and I was afraid he was going to fall right off! But then he started crying. He’s been super restless lately in his sleep (though that may be because he has 5 teeth all coming in on the top at once). Any suggestions?!
Personally, I would wait it out. Before I even read that part about the 5 teeth (because your message came to me in a three-part text to my phone, forwarded from facebook), I was wondering if teething had something to do with it. He can’t sleep because he’s in pain. Sleeping next to you and nursing will help to alleviate his discomfort.
You won’t sleep well in the meantime, however, as you keep jerking awake to make sure your baby is where he is supposed to be. I know; I’ve been there. But hopefully it won’t last long.
In the meantime, could you make a little bed on the floor for just the two of you? You wouldn’t have to worry about him falling, but you may still wake to find him missing! 🙂 Do you have access to bed railings you could put around your bed? We have one on my side of the bed, but nothing at the foot of the bed. Luckily, I’ve always woken up in time to grab his little ankle when he has restless periods like that one you described. At the very least, perhaps you could place pillows on the floor around the bed to soften the fall if one does occur.
If this restlessness does last longer than you think you can handle, and you start to lose your sanity due to sleep deprivation (I know; I’ve been there), perhaps it is time to make the transition from your bed to his crib. Do what feels right for yourself, your child, and your situation.
What would you do, Readers? What advice would you give my friend? Does anyone have a good solution to help with teething pain overnight? My usual teething tips involve frozen bananas, but that wouldn’t go over well at 3 a.m.
I’ve never used this (or even had the opportunity to co-sleep with a baby yet) but I have seen this product, which has a pillow roll on the sides to prevent falling off. From reading the description, I think that 3 sides can be boxed in with pillows.
http://www.snugtuckpillow.com/testimonials.html
I personally have never co slept with our children, not that Im against it. I understand it and what works for one family does not work for another. God made us all to be different but I think..depending on the age… its time to go to a crib. It may not be what you want or what they like as much but its the safe option that will…over a time of sleep training allow you and you husband you bed back which is important in a marriage no matter how you look at it, allow them to be ready for a bigger bed at toddler time and allow you some real sleep that you need to be able function at you best during the day. I also have never co slept…I tried it a few times since I breastfeed too….but 2 hours of sleep by myself not having to worry about rolling on them, or them moving, falling,snoring and all that was more energizing then 3-4 hours of sleep with a baby next to me all night. Plus my husband is and EMT for the fire department and has been to many sad calls that are a real reality of mothers or fathers that have do co sleep…even in one of those co sleeper beds and they wake up sensing that the baby has not been moving and the child has passed..some had been co sleeping since birth and the baby was almost 5 months old so after seeing those things and seeing the parents who just didn’t think that would happen to them since they have co slept with their other children or purchased the safety items for co sleeping and their loss,sadness and guilt…I just don’t want to take that chance I’d rather have them crying and upset for a time then that alternative. As far as teeting them make and natural herbal gum topical from Herbs For Kids…I don’t know the age when they can use it but its worth looking into for a natural alternative to other things in the middle of the night for quick relief from the pain.
Since Josiah became mobile, he has always been very active in his sleep. He will sit or stand up randomly while asleep. We co-slept for most of a year (though not always all night) and there were plenty of times when I would find his head down by my knees. Thankfully we never had too many problems with him headed off the bed, but mostly because when that started happening I was just done co-sleeping. I knew that neither of us were getting the sleep we needed. He needed space to flop around and I needed stillness and peace of mind. So that was our answer to your current situation!
Our oldest co-slept with us. She’s still in the same room with us, though in her own bed, actually (we decided to sleep as a family in a Family Bedroom until they tell us they would like their own room. It helps ME sleep better too, since my husband works nights and the other room in this mobile home is on the other side of the home … in a not-the-greatest neighborhood!). Until she was about 3, we actually kept our mattresses on the floor.
Then we moved and had to leave our bedframes behind (we let husband’s dad actually make picture frames with the wood) cuz we couldn’t fit them.
Our youngest sleeps right next to me cuz I know she’ll still wake up once most nights to nurse. She’s 20 months. She doesn’t toss and turn as often as our oldest did, but she did a lot more when she was teething. And I was really glad our beds were on the floor then too.
Basically, that’s my long-winded way of saying I think you gave good advice LOL
Concerning still finding baby missing if you put mattresses on the floor: put a safety gate up. Seriously. I have to do this still because my youngest has been waking up between 6 and 6:30am and I sometimes don’t hear her right away. I feel at ease knowing even if she does get up early and I’m not already up, she’s not able to get into anything because the gate is up. 🙂
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My DD started to do this around 9 or 10 months and after a few weeks – when we knew it wasn’t to do with teething or illness – I decided maybe she just wanted her own space. Put her in her crib one night and she loved it! She went from waking every couple hours, tossing and turning while she slept,and waking up crabby, to sleeping soundly, only waking once a night, and waking up rested. It was just time for her. And while I miss the snuggles, it really works out best for her this way.
I think sometime we just need to follow our babies leads and let them move on from the co-sleeping arrangement when it works best for them. NOT to say this babe is, but – what I see a lot in the whole ‘attachment parenting’ community is that moms feel guilty for not co-sleeping long enough, not breastfeeding long enough, etc. As long as a family follows baby and baby is happy – that’s what counts!
We never started out to be bed-sharers, but that is what we are and what we have grown to love. It all started because a little boy had GERD, and it took the new mama (me) a LONG time to make the doctors believe me. And thanks to a birth injury that made it difficult to walk or move normally for many months, I simply couldn’t handle the constant getting up and out of bed to go comfort his cries. (and because I think the whole cry it out thing is cruel – at least for my particularly determined child)
So now we’re sharing a queensized bed that suddenly feels tiny thanks to a wiggly 17 month old who is getting some new teeth. I deal with his pain on occasion with Tylenol, but most of the time with homeopathic Hyland’s Teething Tablets. My son actually giggles when he sees me take out the bottle and eagerly eats them up on his own now. Sometimes I wonder if it’s more of a placebo effect, but whatever works is fine with me.
Even though we bought a crib, I really don’t think we will ever be able to do the traditional crib thing because our son has developed a love for a real quality mattress, which you just can’t find in a crib no matter how high end you go. We’re thinking of using a twin bed mattress on the floor in a trundle bed format sometime in the next few months or at least by the time he turns two. Then, between age 2 and 3, we’re hoping to help him transition from the trundle bed on our floor to the same bed in his nursery.
The one thing I plan to do asap though to help my husband get more sleep is to buy a bed rail that goes almost the whole length of my side of the bed so our little guy can sleep on that side. (When he got big enough and sturdy enough, he stopped sleeping in my arms on that side of the bed and moved to the middle between us. But my sweet hubby is not as capable of sleeping through the wiggling and middle of the night nursing as I am. So the middle days are coming to a close.)
Finally, I’ve found some helpful tips in Dr. Sears’ books and the No Cry Sleep Solution that I hadn’t thought of on my own.
This is just what works for us and what keeps us happy. Every mama and baby are different though, so whatever works in a healthy way for her family is the way to go for her.
.-= Inkling´s last blog ..At Long Last…..JOY =-.
We’ve shared our bed with all three of our kids, our first two stayed with us until they were each about 3 years old or so, and our 21-month-old is still in our bed. So we’ve had our share of restless sleepers at times. We always just waited it out.
I think just making things as safe as possible is key. We used a bed rail. I know other families who have put their mattress on the floor. It probably helps that we have a king-size bed, so there’s plenty of room.
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Thanks for all the advice! He doesn’t really respond to teething aids (teething tablets, etc.) except occasionally Tylenol. He’s been doing better lately- mostly just restless right before he wakes up in the morning, which wakes me up immediately. Then he crawls on me and smiles. 🙂
P.S.
And we start him in his pack n play (room is too small for our bed and a crib) and then bring him in to feed. Because I won’t leave him in the bed by himself, since I know he’ll fall off. So he’s at least used to going to bed and napping in his own place.
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