It’s breastfeeding awareness week. And I would like to make you aware of the fact that not all nursing relationships end by the child’s first birthday. None of mine did, anyway.
I nursed Olivia until she was over two years old. Twenty-six months, I do believe. I nursed her all through my pregnancy with Benjamin, and then I tandem nursed for five and a half months.
I nursed Benjamin until he was 21 months. We weaned when I was six months pregnant with Levi.
Levi is 13 months old and his desire to nurse is not waning in the least.
I’ve learned a few things about nursing toddlers.
- Nursing toddlers is not only “okay”, but good for them! Emotionally, nutritionally, you can only benefit a toddler by continuing a nursing relationship. Every part of breastfeeding that is touted as beneficial for babies doesn’t stop being beneficial just because they turned one! Think about it: when do other mammals wean their young? Some studies show it is when they reach 1/3 of their adult body weight, when they quadruple their birth weight, when they have been outside the womb six times longer than they were inside the womb, and/or when their first permanent molars come in. [Source.] These signs usually occur anywhere between 27 months to seven years old. Compared to that, my children have been mere infants when I weaned them!
So let go of the social stigma and enjoy being able to comfort, feed, and medicate your child the way he loves best.
- Nursing toddlers move. A lot. Gone are the days when Levi would lay docile in my arms while nursing. He has more gross motor skills and more energy. And he wants to demonstrate both while nursing. It’s not uncommon for him to be standing on my lap while nursing. And woe to the child sitting next to me on the couch while Levi is nursing. He or she is bound to be kicked. And hard.
To protect myself, I have found it helpful to just make sure I’m always holding his head firmly. It doesn’t hurt me when his legs are climbing all over me, just when his head moves too much! And if he has a problem with that, he just stops nursing. Win/win.
To protect my modesty, I just tend to go with distraction over nursing when he wants to nurse in public. “Look! A toy!” works so much better with a 13 month old than with a three month old.
So with those tips in mind, I just stop fighting his antsy gymnastics and enjoy the show.
- Nursing toddlers in tandem with new babies helps reduce sibling rivalry. The move from one child to two was incredibly smooth. Olivia never jealously demanded that I “put the baby down” so I could pick her up. She never envied Benjamin in any way I could notice. I credit the fact that she was able to continue nursing through those initial transition months. They built up their relationship as sister and brother as they nursed together. And they let her feel secure in my love for her as I let her continue to love her in her preferred love language: Dursing.
Benjamin, however, had a bit more difficulty adjusting to Levi’s arrival. He would demand that we put the baby down so we could pick him up. Perhaps this was because he was jealous of all the nursing time he saw me share with Levi. The behavior never got very bad and didn’t last very long. It just made me sad that he felt I wasn’t spending as much time with him as he wanted me to. Tandem nursing would have made that a lot easier.
How many of you have nursed toddlers? Has anyone else out there tandem nursed? Do you have any contributions you think others should know about nursing toddlers? Please, do share!
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This post is a part of Three Things You Should Know.
LOVE this post! And what opportune timing for me too. Did you know that I was just told the fact that my 13mo nurses 3x/day is “disgusting” this past weekend? By a NURSE? Yep. But the baby and I (because, yeah, I still consider her a baby) are doing just fine with it. Personally, I’m grateful she’s still interested in nursing because we recently discovered she has a cow’s milk sensitivity. This way, I needn’t worry about her dairy intake. 🙂
both of my children weaned at 27 months (with gentle encouragement from me) while I was pregnant. I can’t imagine weaning before age two, they were still babies! Having a three or four month break between nursing toddler and nursing newborn was a blessing for me and my mental health.
Nursing a toddler is very different from nursing a baby. We had to have ‘milk rules’ to control the wiggles, keep teeth in check, and schedule. I’m always happy to see someone nursing a toddler because I know they are actually LISTENING to the needs of their toddler.
I’m still nursing my 3rd child who is 16 months old and being told constantly that it is “gross” to be nursing (a boy especially!) this long. I’m kind of amazed at how people react. The only thing that has made me consider weaning is my desire to get pregnant again because 16 months post-partum I still haven’t gotten things in that area back on schedule.
Still, I’ve resisted weaning because my son just seems very reluctant to give up nursing and with two older kids it is practically the only time I get to spend uninterrupted quiet time with him!
I nursed my son past 26 to 27 months. By that point it was only at sleeping times, so no one knew but us unless I told them. I weaned him very gradually and it was so nice to do that without lots of tears. If people ask how long I nursed I tell them and say that’s just what worked for us. I’m pregnant now and time will tell how long I’ll nurse. For sure a year and probably more depending on the baby and his needs.
I nursed my firstborn son until he was 22 months (I was also three months pregnant at this point) and it was SUCH a good experience! He really needed that extended bfeeding and I think it was good for both of us as it was during a really stressful time in my life (my mom was dying of colon cancer). I’m expecting my second baby next month and can’t wait to start a nursing relationship with her!
Good for you! Glad I could encourage you. You’re doing a wonderful thing – giving your baby liquid gold as long as possible! Bonus: your milk isn’t filled with growth hormones or antibiotics and then heated til almost all nutrients were destroyed! Think on that if you ever just wish you could give her cow milk. 🙂
I did appreciate that three month break of not nursing before Levi was born. 🙂 won’t deny that! It makes me wonder what choice I’ll make for the next one. We’ll see what Levi is like by then, I guess!
My child gave up nursing at 32 – 33 months of age. I felt that after his early arrival, and with his ongoing respiratory challenges, it was best to let him get as much gold as possible.
The fourth thing you should know is : Medical professionals are often very ignorant about toddler nursing. They will give you obsolete advice, encourage you to wean, tell you that you have to wean due to medication or pump and dump (almost never true with a child that’s toddler-sized.. check out Dr. Hale’s book on this), or look at you like you have 2 heads when you say your 14 month old still nurses 8 to 12 times a day or more. My pediatrician stopped asking. 😉
LOVE this post. I’m still nursing our 22 month old daughter. Usually just once a day (before bed), but here lately she’s wanting to once in the afternoon too. I’m in no rush to wean … I’m enjoying every moment. Especially since I was unable to really nurse her sister (just a month of nursing).
Oh man, those toddler nursing gymnastics are something, aren’t they? My lil’ one usually sits in my lap during the daytime nursing. She knows if she gets too rough, she’ll have to stop. Thankfully (THANKFULLY!!!), she learned VERY quick to just sit still 🙂
I am the ONLY one who’s nursed longer than SIX MONTHS in my family.
…. well, no, that’s not entirely true. The only other person in the entire family that I know of that was nursed past a year was my grandfather, who’s closing in on 70 now. His aunt nursed him till he was 5. Yes, his AUNT. MAN, I wish I knew the story there!
I would love to make it until 2 yrs with Savannah. But… I am not sure it’s going to happen. I would love to talk to you more about this, Beth, but I’m thinking it would be best to have a few months of letting my milk dry up so I can “start over” again.
Wow! I want to know that story too! I wonder what that was like for her… To nurse someone else’s child for that long. Did they continue to have a close relationship because of that? If you ever get the chance to ask…!! 🙂
When are you planning on letting your milk dry up?
I don’t get the opportunity to talk to my grandpa very often anymore. He’s in Michigan, we’re in Wyoming and he still works at least 40hrs a week. I do know that him and this aunt have always been very, very close.
Next time I talk to him, I’ll have to see if I can somehow bring the subject up with him in a way that he’ll WANT to talk about it with me. I’m not sure why his mother wasn’t able to nurse him (or didn’t nurse him for long). I’ve been able to talk to my great-grandma before she died 10yrs ago … she used to tell us ALL the history of how my family first came to America (her father was the one to bring us here from Hungary) … but breastfeeding isn’t something she felt was important to bring up to teenagers in her last years, I guess.
I should have explained what I meant… I was distracted by a fussy baby. 🙂 I was meaning, whenever I have another baby, I would like to not be nursing because I really want to nurse on both sides again, and my milk is currently dried up in one breast. So I’d like to have at least a few months of not nursing at all in order to get everything leveled out, and hopefully baby #2 will have a better latch and I’ll be able to nurse on both sides, no problems. (Crossing my fingers!!)
I also like the idea of tandem nursing, though. Of course, I’m not pregnant at all right now so who knows? This might not be an issue when the time comes. 🙂
I thought we might end up tandem nursing, but wow did my milk supply ever go away when I became pregnant! I don’t know if there was anything I could do to keep it up. Part of me was ready to wean, and part of me misses it a lot. And i know he does, too.
I’m still grateful for the 18 months we had!
My milk dries up when I’m pregnant too. Not right away but somewhere around the second trimester I think. But my babies just don’t care. It’s more of a comfort thing than a food thing at that point. But the milk will come back when the baby’s born. And just like mommas of twins, there’s enough for everyone.
My son will be 17 months tomorrow and is showing no signs of stopping. We are enjoying nursing gymnastics…I have no idea how he can remain attached and contort his body like he does.
I currently nurse my 15 month old son, and nursed my older three until they were: 3 years, 2 1/2 years, and 2 3/4 years, respectively!
I am a little biased in believing that breastfeeding my children into toddlerhood has made them far easier to discipline than other toddlers I see.
Breastfeeding also maintains my perspective that they are, indeed, still so very young. 🙂
My wise doctor once reminded me that my breastmilk didn’t suddenly turn into “junk food” at 12 months; the milk that was nourishing and nutritious in the first year remained so in the years that followed! She encouraged me to breastfeed as a primary food source and “supplement” with healthy, whole foods as baby became interested. So, we nurse for lots of meals and snack on blueberries, avocado, cheerios, cheese cubes, and even cow’s milk as our “side dishes.”
Good for you for promoting extended breastfeeding!
I’m currently nursing my first child, my 14 month old daughter. She still nurses at least 8-10 times a day…maybe more. I don’t really keep track. We’re definitely starting to get weird looks, but I know she needs it so much. Thanks so much for this post. I love seeing all the comments of how long people nursed. It makes me feel a lot less alone.
Great post! My son self-weaned at 28 months, and I am so glad we nursed that long. His immune system is awesome!
One thing a lot of people don’t know is that mothers who work outside the home can nurse just as long as mothers who are with their kids all day. My son started refusing bottles of pumped milk at 13 months, but he still nursed from the breast at night (and sometimes during the day on weekends; it was his favorite way to keep quiet during church) for more than a year after that. Stopping pumping did not stop me from making enough milk for his needs.
I think I had the exact same sling you do! Is that a Maya Wrap? Looks like the same fabric as mine. We loved it!
Thanks so much for this. It’s very encouraging to know that there are moms like me who still breastfeed after two years. My son nursed until around 27 months. I actually thought that was a little “abnormal” but he’s now a very healthy 6-year old.
My daughter is now 20 months old and shows no signs of stopping either. It’s not so much for meals as for comfort (and keeping her quiet ha-ha) but I’m enjoying our time together and thanks to your post and the other comments, I won’t be worried this time about weaning her too late.
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I agree! Good point to make! Also check out LLL for points to share on why toddler nursing is beneficial!
AWESOME post, Beth! Here is my story: I nursed Truman unitl he was 24 1/2 months old, when we weaned due to extreme pressure from my ob because I was pregnant w/Hunter. Hunter was born 4 months later, and nursed until he was 32 months old – which was through my entire pregnancy w/Mandie (I had TONS of milk), and included 11 months of tandem nursing. The doc’s in the NICU {when Mandie was born 4 weeks early} didn’t like the fact that i was going home to tandem nurse with a 21 month old – but I agree that it REALLY helped w/sibling rivalry, and all of the moves that we made during that time in their lives. Mandie turned 3 on 3/8 and is still nursing 1-4 times a day or more if she’s reacting. She has extremely severe, life threatening food and environmental allergies and is celiac, so I avoid everything on her list (see my blog for the list) and continue to nurse her. Our current (WONDERFUL) allergist has said that breastmilk is liquid gold, and that by continuing to nurse her we have avoided hospitalization and have made her healthier than she otherwise would be given all we are dealing with. My allergist has actually asked me to continue providing my milk to her until she’s 4 or 5, which I am happy to do at this point. I NEVER thought I’d be nursing this long, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
A tip to add is to check out http://www.llli.org for info on nursing a toddler and why to continue. A local LLL group can be really helpful, and is potentially a good place to connect with others nursing toddlers.
Ladies First of all I want to write I mean no disrespect to any of you and it is great that you nursed your children. I understnad you want to be close with your children but nursing them pass 1 year is not right. I read a lot about I and really not much about the child. All of you stand on the principle it is better for your child and you are right. If that is the leg you want to stand on then pump and give it to your child in a cup. Your children will grow attached to your boob or not. Letting nurse until two only makes them feel funny about themseleves when they get older. How you see your child now is not the way you will seem them in thier teen aged years. All I read is mostly that it makes you the women feel good about themselves. Maybe because of other reasons or you were never thaught
that there are other ways to bond. I can’t even emagine how funny a three year old must feel when they think they should go to thier mom’s boob for milk when every other child is walking to the fridge. Motherhood is doing what is best for the child and keeping the mothers insecurties to herself. Go buy a pump and some sippy cups if you really are doing it for the child. Your job is to make your child a responsible adults. I don’t see to many adults still getting milk from thier mom’s boob. Bye the way sibiling rivally doesn’t start untill around seven and older. Remember ladies hine sight is 20/20 and right now all of you need glasses.
CHILDREN FIRST!
Love your post, thanks