I know many of you check here for updates and worry when there are none.
Thank you. Thank you for your comments and prayers. Believe me, I have felt them. There’s no way I would have the strength and peace of mind I have now without the prayers God is putting on your hearts.
She’s still with us.
She went a full week without eating, and then ate six bites of chicken on Friday. I was confused. I can’t even truthfully say I’m happy about it. I was so sure that her suffering was almost over that the nourishment she found in those bites just seemed bitter to me.
I spent the night with her on Saturday to give Rich some rest. I got more sleep with newborns than I did that night. Up from 9:45 to 10:45. Up from 12:45 to 2:05. From 2:05 to 4 is a blur. Up at 5:45 again. I have no idea how Rich does that. Please pray for him. He also has a business to run.
But yes, she is up. A lot. She can’t walk by herself, but she refuses to sit or lay down for long. It’s a full-time job caring for her. When I tried to talk her into laying down at about 3am, she responded with, “Well, you’re an ornery one…”
Most of her ramblings that night were nonsensical because of the medication she took before bed. She talked of contributing to programs and slowing down horses (one at a time, of course) and eventually, I stopped trying to make sense of it all and just sat there beside her.
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So the day of my marathon (Sunday) came and went. I celebrated with church, a visit with my mom, and then after the kids were in bed, I ran 12 miles on a treadmill. I wasn’t sure I was going to run that 12. I spent most of the weekend contemplating just quitting the training. 18 weeks is a long time to train for something and then cancel the week before.
I’m sick of running by myself. (I had a running partner and group back home.) I’m sick of running on the treadmill. (I run after the kids are in bed so that I’m not leaving them in Josh’s grandparents care more than I need to.) I’m sick of cramming in runs that last for hours when I’m already busy spending as much time as I can with my mom, homeschooling, and making Halloween costumes.
But by Sunday night, my legs were itching for a run and it was a relief to spend an hour and a half on the treadmill, believe it or not. Plus, this way I can continue to eat like Michael Phelps.
I’m kinda whiny tonight.
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We are almost done accumulating/creating costumes for everyone. We found Benjamin a Peter Pan ensemble at Goodwill (green polo shirt, dark green pants, brown belt, brown shoes). Josh is going to make him a wooden dagger and I’m going to make him a green hat out of felt and a red feather.
We found Levi a crocodile/dragon costume at Goodwill, just minus the arms, legs, and head. We got him green pants and a green visor there, too. At Hobby Lobby, we got white foam board which we’ll use to make teeth and eyes for the visor. At Target, we found a green long sleeved shirt half-off. Now we just need to train him to say, “Tick, tock, tick, tock…”
Olivia’s costume is completely homemade. My mom had gotten a Tinkerbell pattern and all the fabric, but then got too weak to make it. So I’ve been working on it. The most time-consuming part is trying to understand what the instructions are telling me to do. YouTube has been my mentor. I’m almost done. Just a poufy tulle skirt (that she’s already told me multiple times that she doesn’t want and won’t wear) is all I have left to do. She’s as stubborn as I am.
We found the perfect ingredients for a Captain Hook outfit using both Goodwill and Hobby Lobby, but everything was a size too small for Josh to wear. And since we couldn’t find anything Wendy-ish or Tiger Lily-ish, we decided that both he and I will go as Pirates.
While at my mom’s I found the perfect lace and ribbon to make a bonnet for Lucy. And then we’ll all be set.
And with that non-whiny note, I sign off for the night.
But not before I ask, what are you all (and your children) going to be for Halloween?
Hi Beth!
Glad to see you’re on here… and still praying of course…
I SOOO know what you’re saying about running on a treadmill. It’s just not the same. It’s not the distance that gets to me, or my lungs, or my legs… its the monotony of running nowhere. But… its better than nothing. Keep training…its not just about running marathons, its about keep physically fit to assist you to run the marathon in your head. The one where you start thinking negative thoughts and letting the bad stuff get to you. So train, if you can, every day. It will sustain you physically like prayer will do mentally.
I know you know all this – but I know sometimes it helps that someone else says it too.
I have no littlies and in Aus (my town anyway!) we don’t really do Halloween. But your troop sounds gorgeous. Put up some pics, if you can.
Good luck for the next few days. Take it one at a time.
Hugs.
Thanks for the updates. I agree with Elizabeth, keep running and training, there are tons of marathons you can run when you’re ready, just be ready! I know it’s hard to squeeze in runs, but I can imagine running helps with everything that is going on, at least it helped me get through some things when I was running.
As for Halloween, twill probably be skipped this year. Lexi has a super woman costume we got her after halloween last year (75% off it was like $4) and Caylee has a Steelers cheer leading dress just in case we decide to go to the church hallelujah festival thing. We’ll see.
Me: Fairy godmother.
Child: Race car driver.
Mr B: Ipod.
Hug your mom. Lots. I know you are….
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. I know how hard it is to go through, as I’ve been there with my mother in law, just before Hubby and I were married. It was truely exhausting caring for her and watching her suffer for several months and when she passed it was a great sense of relief to see her rest. Still seems odd, but true to say that.
I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
Anyway… about Halloween. My daughter (4.5) is super excited to go as a ballerina… rewearing her dance recital costume (gotta love free!).
My son (2.5) is going as Mickey Mouse. He already had red shorts and mickey ears. We found black leggings and a black turtleneck shirt at Walmart for super cheap. For the yellow shoes that Mickey wears, I’ve been looking for big yellow socks to put on over his sneakers. Or I may possibly cut up my daughter’s yellow banana costume from last year (which is not really in good shape to use again) to make covers for his shoes from that. We’ll see.
Can’t wait to see your family Halloween pics. Sounds like you did an awesome job with a family theme!
Hugs and prayers as always, Beth. (For your family and for Rich.)
We don’t go out for Halloween, but the kids will dress up. I’m not for sure what they’ll decide on yet. Mandie’s debating between a ballerina and a princess (she had things to wear for both). Hunter’s thinking a tiger, or an army man, or a pirate, or a robot, or any crazy combo he can pull out of the dress-up box. Not sure what Truman’s gonna be. Before he left for CA he was thinking pirate. We are gonna do our (2nd annual) family Halloween Party and “spooky” dinner, and the kids will find their buckets (hidden in the yard) full of a few safe treats, crayons, and coloring books – and maybe a movie each if I get to the store w/out them! I’ll post photos of our meal on my blog a day or so after Halloween. It will be a feast!
I think you are to be commended and I certainly admire your discipline for continuing your training even though you are going through this extremely difficult time. Good for you and well done.
We don’t participate in Halloween though I’ve got to say it is hard not giving in when I would love to dress up myself. That’s probably a throw back to my acting days.