I have disappeared. I told them to pick up the train tracks and then slipped into the back bedroom and shut the door. I’m all for open floor plans, but sometimes I just need a hiding place.
When I’m the only adult around, my brain refuses to stop. My ears are unable to stop listening. I am constantly discerning the noises around me. “Was that life-threatening?” “Is she in pain?” “Will he fall?” “Will that make a huge mess?” “Is that going to break?”
When Josh comes home, I am finally able to turn it off. I can trust his judgement for these situations and finally let my mind relax.
The only problem is Josh isn’t coming home. I thought after March 1st, things would slow down. I was mistaken. His new normal is to be gone from 7:30-9 a.m. until 11:30 p.m.-1 a.m. One time he didn’t come home until 4 a.m. He usually works like that six days a week. Sometimes he’ll go in again after Sunday lunch.
During the weekdays, we usually go eat dinner at a restaurant near campus so the kids can see him at least once. Bad for the budget and my waistline, but I think it’s still worth it.
I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, because He’s gotten me this far.
This time in my life makes me think often of military moms. How do they do this for months at a time? They probably don’t homeschool…
Well my break is probably about over. Thanks for letting me decompress.
Anyone else have a hubby working long hours these days?
My husband was working insane hours like that for a portion of 2010 and the first week of 2011. It was nuts. No one liked it.
He’s back to usually being home by 6:45 or 7 and that is great. I am looking forward to the possibility of someday living in a place where he will have a shorter commute and we can see him even sooner.
Beth, I really hope your husband’s work schedule won’t continue like this for much longer. Yes, his work and research is important. But so is his commitment to your family.
I don’t want your marriage to suffer. I don’t want your whole household to suffer.
Is there an end-date in sight? This really isn’t sustainable for long.
Kacie, I don’t think it will be like this constantly… it’s hard to say. New deadlines keep springing up. The newest is that he has to have a rough draft of his prelims done by the end of the month. So, maybe April will be better? I’m definitely hoping that San Diego won’t be like this!
But I have to say I am grateful that it hasn’t been like this for years. For most of his schooling, he’s worked normal hours while watching others in his lab/office stay late and work weekends. It definitely could have been worse! 🙂
My husband just started working again this week after 1.5 years of unemployment. Of course, we’re absolutely *thrilled* that he has a job and an income again, but OH MAN, it’s so hard to go back to being the only adult home after all that time of him being around constantly. Today was especially hard. Even now, it’s a few minutes before bedtime, and my three kids are doing who-knows-what in their bedroom. All I know is there is an AWFUL lot of bumping into the wall. But I’m so done, I can’t take it anymore, so I’m ignoring it while hubby acts as a second set of ears and we’ll know if there’s any real trouble.
It was such a long day. And it was only one day, with backup when hubby got home. And with breaks when the two older were in school…. but still so long. So I really feel for you, with no break at all, your husband working such very long hours. I’m so sorry. Hang in there!
I’m with Becky, after just over 2 years of unemployment even 40 hours a week seemed hard. not to mention I had never been alone with two kids, and now I have 3 to figure out!
some days are harder than others, but long hours stink!! I really don’t know how Military mom’s, or single mom’s even survive.
I’m praying the end comes soon for you. for now, enjoy your few moments that you get to sneak away and hid in a closet.
Oh, man, I just wrote a post about this last night! (Warning: it was very whiny :-P) I’m currently in Week 2 1/2 of my husband being gone– he’s halfway across the country, looking for a job so we can move out there. The things our hubbies do for the family! It’s rough being the sole caretaker 24/7– and I only have one kid! I’ll be praying that you all get to see a little more of Josh!
My husband was incarcerated for much of the past 6 years. No fun–no coming home ever–no income either!
God is good though:) I homeschooled (still do) and the one thing I think I had to do that helped me the most was to look at all the good and refuse to allow myself to think about the rough stuff. That just drug me down but there was ALWAYS blessings if I only I looked.
Also lowering my expectations of myself. We’re dealing with unemployment now. He worked for 6 months of 2010 and hasn’t worked in 2011 yet–I’d like to have him working a lot and bringing home a paycheck;) But the good is that we have time together that we didn’t have at all for years.
My husband has alwasy worked hours that took him away from us. When we were first married he was a church pew installer. He could be gone for as little as a day and for as long as 3 weeks. He left the morning after our first son was born for 2 1/2 weeks. He pretty much missed our first sons first year. But it was a job and I had a lot of family support so we managed.
HIs next job was working nights so again not much time for interaction with family time. When he was home it was mostly sleeping and weekends.
He finally got a job with the power company and his hours somewhat normalized for several years except during storms.
Then we had our second son. He was thrown completely because he had no idea just how much time the kids actually took and he was jealous of having to share my time. Then his dad died and his mom moved away very quickly and he was so lost for a LONG time.
We hit a VERY rough patch for a couple years and mostly wouldn’t have made it if we weren’t both so stubborn that neither of us wanted to be the one to call it quits. Yes, we did love each other but we didn’t like who we each had grown into as a person. And again his job changed but he at least was able to stay within the power company. Through a lot of prayer, a few nasty fights, some serious appologies, a few major attitude adjustments and God’s love we made it.
Now he’s a lineman, a sportsman, a hunter, a knifemaker and an excellent father and husband. He still has times when we don’t see him for weeks on end, but usually only during hunting season. He is back on wacky hours but only during storms and during duty weeks.
So I totally understand you’re feeling like you’re holding the whole world together by your fingertips. It isn’t a fun place to be. See if you can have a friend give you a break for a few hours once and a while. Mom time is so important.
And I just realized I should have introduced myself, I’m Jes’ sister in law and she probably didn’t know about some of what I wrote about, and neither will my Mother in law who also reads this blog. Sorry for the shocker guys, but I just wanted Beth to know that this will pass and she will come out a better person in the end. It makes you a better mother and wife to face some hardship, you learn tools to help when the going gets rough.